Tuesday, November 26, 2002
My peoples,
Thanksgiving has arrived for me,
and I must ship on home.
I won't be online till after I get back,
will miss you much.
Happy Holidays!!!
Keep it sexi!!!
Thanksgiving has arrived for me,
and I must ship on home.
I won't be online till after I get back,
will miss you much.
Happy Holidays!!!
Keep it sexi!!!
What would be the sexiest thing that could happen to you now if such things could be granted?
For me it would completed law school apps!!!
For me it would completed law school apps!!!
Monday, November 25, 2002
If I were any animal, I would be a dog.
*Tend to jump indiscriminately when I see people all smiling and licking, before I find out whether they are good people or bad.
*I'm not too smart, but I'm damned loyal/protective. Personality tests show that I'm a Guardian by nature.
*I get excited easily
*I have soft hair
What would you be? WHY?
*Tend to jump indiscriminately when I see people all smiling and licking, before I find out whether they are good people or bad.
*I'm not too smart, but I'm damned loyal/protective. Personality tests show that I'm a Guardian by nature.
*I get excited easily
*I have soft hair
What would you be? WHY?
Generally peeved at how little the Ambassador's Council hangs out for play time. Suckiness. Feel unloved. Well, I'm gonna do something about it dammit!!!
My plan: get to know small groups of people at a time, then when I know enough small groups, invites the bunch of small groups together for bigger hang outs. Eventually, those that don't come will feel left out and make the time to come. Abe Bonding Engineered baby!!!
My plan: get to know small groups of people at a time, then when I know enough small groups, invites the bunch of small groups together for bigger hang outs. Eventually, those that don't come will feel left out and make the time to come. Abe Bonding Engineered baby!!!
We are gonna have game night at my place I swear!!!!!
Can yall figure out if someone is an only child, eldest, youngest or middle child?
I think I can generally figure it out by analyzing behavior/aura. I am having trouble explaining it, and there are some people, like jenny, who I simply couldn't guess.
What group do u think I belong to?
People seem to think i'm the youngest... maybe it's cuz I refuse to let the child within me die. Maybe it's because I was deprived as a child? and to that i say: DUDE!!! Can't you see my protective big bro qualities?!
Well, I think I discovered a good conversation starter at least... especially for strangers cuz it forces people to pay attention to others and analyze. Keepin' it sexi!!!
I think I can generally figure it out by analyzing behavior/aura. I am having trouble explaining it, and there are some people, like jenny, who I simply couldn't guess.
What group do u think I belong to?
People seem to think i'm the youngest... maybe it's cuz I refuse to let the child within me die. Maybe it's because I was deprived as a child? and to that i say: DUDE!!! Can't you see my protective big bro qualities?!
Well, I think I discovered a good conversation starter at least... especially for strangers cuz it forces people to pay attention to others and analyze. Keepin' it sexi!!!
Saturday, November 23, 2002
Thanks for your concern on the drinking. I don't drink anything except for wine, and if I even feel slightly dizzy, I stop. The future is too important to jeopardize, people are counting on me to score, not drop the ball. I was thinking the other day... we are each worth a couple million in the raising (childcare, food, shelter, education, toys, etc). God knows i was an fickle child, i think i cost a quarter of a billion.
Worth, however, is a different issue... How much do YOU cost, and how much are you worth? And how should worth be determined? Financial success? Degree of respect to elders? How many times you call home when away?
Worth, however, is a different issue... How much do YOU cost, and how much are you worth? And how should worth be determined? Financial success? Degree of respect to elders? How many times you call home when away?
Ok fine, so I blog a lot.
okay okay, I have been confronted about ranking so often i'm gonna put up an explaination online. Keep in mind that this is half in jest and that I have a right to my opinion.
Do guys rank females?
Hell yeah!!!
The consensus among my friends is a 1-10 point REA scale (named after Richard, Edric, Abe who formalized it), 10 being the elf maidens... so far no one has gotten a 10. Females under 5 aren't rated... cuz that would be a bit sad. REA is only based on looks. The minimum increments are "0.50"... so a female could get 7.5, but can't get 7.34. Example: girl walks down the street, within 10 seconds of giving the elevator look, you give a rating of 7.5.
The more important scaling is Adjusted REA, which is based on looks adjusted for personality. A decent female can go up 0.5-2.0 points depending on where they started out in the first place... A bitach usually can drop 3.0-7.0 points easy. Example: you talk to/befriend an average looking gurl of 5.5, and find out she is the best thing since sliced bread, and therefore adjust her rating to 7.5.
Note: Lady Wang won't get a 10 on the REA scale, but it is highly likely her personality will probably be one of the weird cases where she jumps 3-5 points to achieve a 10 on the Adjusted REA scale. Remember, ultra fawne females tend to be spoiled so don't need to develop personality, so it is much harder for them to perform as well on Adjusted REA. This hopefully suggests that the guys who rank according to our scale are not totally superficial.
Do gals rank guys?
I found out they do indeed. Their ranking system seems a bit funky tho... Gals also ranks gals, but I don't know much about that either.
Things we do NOT rank:
*people that we know (others' sisters or friends).
*guys don't rank guys.
Do guys rank females?
Hell yeah!!!
The consensus among my friends is a 1-10 point REA scale (named after Richard, Edric, Abe who formalized it), 10 being the elf maidens... so far no one has gotten a 10. Females under 5 aren't rated... cuz that would be a bit sad. REA is only based on looks. The minimum increments are "0.50"... so a female could get 7.5, but can't get 7.34. Example: girl walks down the street, within 10 seconds of giving the elevator look, you give a rating of 7.5.
The more important scaling is Adjusted REA, which is based on looks adjusted for personality. A decent female can go up 0.5-2.0 points depending on where they started out in the first place... A bitach usually can drop 3.0-7.0 points easy. Example: you talk to/befriend an average looking gurl of 5.5, and find out she is the best thing since sliced bread, and therefore adjust her rating to 7.5.
Note: Lady Wang won't get a 10 on the REA scale, but it is highly likely her personality will probably be one of the weird cases where she jumps 3-5 points to achieve a 10 on the Adjusted REA scale. Remember, ultra fawne females tend to be spoiled so don't need to develop personality, so it is much harder for them to perform as well on Adjusted REA. This hopefully suggests that the guys who rank according to our scale are not totally superficial.
Do gals rank guys?
I found out they do indeed. Their ranking system seems a bit funky tho... Gals also ranks gals, but I don't know much about that either.
Things we do NOT rank:
*people that we know (others' sisters or friends).
*guys don't rank guys.
Gentlemen, what is up with wanting to date the model and wanting her to be brilliant?
If women are upper eschelon fawne, they don't need to develop brains... afterall, if you can get with you want by looks, why bother developing a brain? It is because females don't look ultra fawne that they need to develop personality. It's a battle of social capital folks.
So pick one quality and go for it. Personality tends to rank more favorably with me... everyone says that, but yall that know me and evaluated the gals I liked before should know my truths. I'll let my record speak for me. :o)
Although, if a women is hideous to look at, umm... no thanks ma'am. That and smoking... yes, there are fatal errors.
The elf maidens that are both fawne and brilliant, which I estimate to be .0001% of the female population at large, are meant for the immortal gods... If you are looking for this type, keep dreamin'.
If women are upper eschelon fawne, they don't need to develop brains... afterall, if you can get with you want by looks, why bother developing a brain? It is because females don't look ultra fawne that they need to develop personality. It's a battle of social capital folks.
So pick one quality and go for it. Personality tends to rank more favorably with me... everyone says that, but yall that know me and evaluated the gals I liked before should know my truths. I'll let my record speak for me. :o)
Although, if a women is hideous to look at, umm... no thanks ma'am. That and smoking... yes, there are fatal errors.
The elf maidens that are both fawne and brilliant, which I estimate to be .0001% of the female population at large, are meant for the immortal gods... If you are looking for this type, keep dreamin'.
What's with the preference of females for older guys about?
Sounds like conservative/traditional thinking to me. I've gotten various reasons, the most used is that gals want to be taken care of... but it is these same females that also believe in female rights, equal opportunity, and self-reliance.
My impressions of guys, myself included, is that we aren't very bright when it comes to figuring out females. So if yall is one of the above believers, do the male population a favor.
(Note: I can understand that as humans we don't always know what we want)
Sounds like conservative/traditional thinking to me. I've gotten various reasons, the most used is that gals want to be taken care of... but it is these same females that also believe in female rights, equal opportunity, and self-reliance.
My impressions of guys, myself included, is that we aren't very bright when it comes to figuring out females. So if yall is one of the above believers, do the male population a favor.
(Note: I can understand that as humans we don't always know what we want)
Found out what PMS was a few days ago from asking several female friends of mine...
The value applications of this knowledge? Don't know yet, so I'm mentally filing it.
The value applications of this knowledge? Don't know yet, so I'm mentally filing it.
Concerning Hermoine of Harry Potter:
Big BeeBee: you know what i find is sad?
Big BeeBee: that the qualities I find attractive in females is possessed by a little gurl-- the females our age have lost something along the way cuz they all don't have it. Something about growing up makes them forget.
Big BeeBee: and i'm not talking looks
Big BeeBee: i'm talking character.
Reprocussions of my thoughts? Either i'm gonna grow up to be a pedofile, or Lady Wang is gonna retain the bright-eyed mentality of a child.
More oddness:
Asked if I would be willing to date women older than me, I replied not only wouldn't I mind, I'd prefer it. My subconscious thinking, now that I think about it, is probably telling me that if a woman has Hermoine qualities at our age or above it, then it is likely she will keep them for the rest of her life (character generally gets harder to change as one ages, so the older a female is, the more time tested she is). May Lady Wang be wise in mind and young at heart forever.
Big BeeBee: you know what i find is sad?
Big BeeBee: that the qualities I find attractive in females is possessed by a little gurl-- the females our age have lost something along the way cuz they all don't have it. Something about growing up makes them forget.
Big BeeBee: and i'm not talking looks
Big BeeBee: i'm talking character.
Reprocussions of my thoughts? Either i'm gonna grow up to be a pedofile, or Lady Wang is gonna retain the bright-eyed mentality of a child.
More oddness:
Asked if I would be willing to date women older than me, I replied not only wouldn't I mind, I'd prefer it. My subconscious thinking, now that I think about it, is probably telling me that if a woman has Hermoine qualities at our age or above it, then it is likely she will keep them for the rest of her life (character generally gets harder to change as one ages, so the older a female is, the more time tested she is). May Lady Wang be wise in mind and young at heart forever.
Friday, November 22, 2002
Justin made my day twice in one day...
First, he surprised me with huge directory of mp3s to download at my leisure...
Second, he wrote this comment in his blog...
** watched harry potter last nite, fantastic! and abe is so right, i love hermione now too!**
seeeeeeee, showing that i'm not alone in my pedophilic thoughts. Come to think of it, i got made fun about it again today!!! Well, all I have to say is that i'm her first fan, yall can catch up and bandwagon jump in the coming years.
First, he surprised me with huge directory of mp3s to download at my leisure...
Second, he wrote this comment in his blog...
** watched harry potter last nite, fantastic! and abe is so right, i love hermione now too!**
seeeeeeee, showing that i'm not alone in my pedophilic thoughts. Come to think of it, i got made fun about it again today!!! Well, all I have to say is that i'm her first fan, yall can catch up and bandwagon jump in the coming years.
Today after going back to catch a few hours sleep before a Global Connect meeting (Ambassador Council related) after Sleepout,
I woke up all groggy and feeling umph mentally. As I stepped into the shower with toothbrush in hand and radio blasting to rouse me, I suddenly remembered the greatness of today. As tired as I felt, if I took advantage of this one day that I would have considered a zombie day before, then I would have gained a day in my life.
It might not seem like much, this one day living in appreciation, but it means a lot to me cuz my college days are numbered. And God knows we are all dying anyway. At least I can say that I lived one more day than anyone else the day before I die.
I woke up all groggy and feeling umph mentally. As I stepped into the shower with toothbrush in hand and radio blasting to rouse me, I suddenly remembered the greatness of today. As tired as I felt, if I took advantage of this one day that I would have considered a zombie day before, then I would have gained a day in my life.
It might not seem like much, this one day living in appreciation, but it means a lot to me cuz my college days are numbered. And God knows we are all dying anyway. At least I can say that I lived one more day than anyone else the day before I die.
SHOUT Sleepout:
Good job by the new leaders of SHOUT, if they can pull off a sleepout out of thin air, they can do so much more in the coming year. I'm hella proud of them.
Wasn't as cold as last year, but it was still cold enuf to bust out the New York jacket at 6am-ish. The scandalous conversation at night tided us over.
Thanks to the people that came to support SHOUT and/or me.
It was more enjoyable this year cuz I wasn't actively involved in planning it, even though I actively participated and helped setup and cleanup...
Once a president, always a president, and even after the job, one never forgets the responsibilities of helping out when others forget. That's the good side, the bad side is when I forget that I'm an advisor only and suggest that the new leaders do things based on what worked in the past or take charge in temporary chaos instead of letting the newbies figure things out. Well, the newbies aren't newbies anymore.
Good job by the new leaders of SHOUT, if they can pull off a sleepout out of thin air, they can do so much more in the coming year. I'm hella proud of them.
Wasn't as cold as last year, but it was still cold enuf to bust out the New York jacket at 6am-ish. The scandalous conversation at night tided us over.
Thanks to the people that came to support SHOUT and/or me.
It was more enjoyable this year cuz I wasn't actively involved in planning it, even though I actively participated and helped setup and cleanup...
Once a president, always a president, and even after the job, one never forgets the responsibilities of helping out when others forget. That's the good side, the bad side is when I forget that I'm an advisor only and suggest that the new leaders do things based on what worked in the past or take charge in temporary chaos instead of letting the newbies figure things out. Well, the newbies aren't newbies anymore.
Thursday, November 21, 2002
"To command an army well, a general must think of nothing else." --Napoleon
The approach I need to take for law school... I see the goal, I just gotta start stepping toward it. It all starts with getting across that mental block of a personal statement essay.
Good news: I found gold, I just have to shape it into something exquisite. I got a stellar idea for the personal statement earlier this week, I just gotta express it.
Bad news:
Big BeeBee: passed by one of my recommender professor's office today, wanted to say hi
Big BeeBee: he was meeting with a TA
Big BeeBee: well, he asked me about the recommendation letter stuff
Big BeeBee: where was it abe?
Big BeeBee: he didn't know
Big BeeBee: but the TA pointed it out in the room cuz i said it was in a bright yellow folder i left like 2 weeks ago
Big BeeBee: well, he has it now...
Big BeeBee: if he forgets again,
Big BeeBee: i'm dead
Big BeeBee: it was one of those
Big BeeBee: "THANK GOD I STOPPED BY HIS OFFICE" moments
Big BeeBee: i will never ever second guess myself about whether i should approach people ever again!!!
Should I ask another professor to write a rec? it is kinda late, but... sigh... should have asked the backup anyway.
The approach I need to take for law school... I see the goal, I just gotta start stepping toward it. It all starts with getting across that mental block of a personal statement essay.
Good news: I found gold, I just have to shape it into something exquisite. I got a stellar idea for the personal statement earlier this week, I just gotta express it.
Bad news:
Big BeeBee: passed by one of my recommender professor's office today, wanted to say hi
Big BeeBee: he was meeting with a TA
Big BeeBee: well, he asked me about the recommendation letter stuff
Big BeeBee: where was it abe?
Big BeeBee: he didn't know
Big BeeBee: but the TA pointed it out in the room cuz i said it was in a bright yellow folder i left like 2 weeks ago
Big BeeBee: well, he has it now...
Big BeeBee: if he forgets again,
Big BeeBee: i'm dead
Big BeeBee: it was one of those
Big BeeBee: "THANK GOD I STOPPED BY HIS OFFICE" moments
Big BeeBee: i will never ever second guess myself about whether i should approach people ever again!!!
Should I ask another professor to write a rec? it is kinda late, but... sigh... should have asked the backup anyway.
Wednesday, November 20, 2002
In my excitement of the arrival of new books, I decided to start them all on whim... currently, I have four books which are "in progress." ... and a personal statement (which should be priority one).
The books are...
1. Leadership of Patton-- gotta learn from the master...
2. Let's Go London--research for 40/40 Europe, we are going in charging like the swat team come summer.
3. History of the Zipper--innovation and marketing strategy... it isn't just about brains, it's about marketing too... so teamwork is needed!!!
4. How to read the Wallstreet Journal-- it makes no difference what you are reading if you can't understand it. Reading book to understand newspaper.
The books are...
1. Leadership of Patton-- gotta learn from the master...
2. Let's Go London--research for 40/40 Europe, we are going in charging like the swat team come summer.
3. History of the Zipper--innovation and marketing strategy... it isn't just about brains, it's about marketing too... so teamwork is needed!!!
4. How to read the Wallstreet Journal-- it makes no difference what you are reading if you can't understand it. Reading book to understand newspaper.
Dang the weather's all weird around here!!! It's like taking a bite out of ice cream then sipping chicken soup... sigh. But the people are out there, and I certainly cannot meet them by staying in here... alright then, out I go. See you on campus peoples!!! oh, i might ask you if we could stand in the shade while chatting...
Got all my classes and discussions for the first time!!! Oh how it is great to be a senior!
Tuesday, November 19, 2002
Burst of happy energy that needs to be transferred to as many people as possible... IM me IM me!!! Let's get a happy energy chain going and make my original happiness exponentially grow!!!!!
Thanks for kind words my peoples, my response to them?...
Big BeeBee: when i see i have backup,
Big BeeBee: i assume the area is clear
Big BeeBee: and the calvary has arrived
Big BeeBee: meaning that it's time to charge into new territory
Big BeeBee: didi power time!
Big BeeBee: :-D
Big BeeBee: when i see i have backup,
Big BeeBee: i assume the area is clear
Big BeeBee: and the calvary has arrived
Big BeeBee: meaning that it's time to charge into new territory
Big BeeBee: didi power time!
Big BeeBee: :-D
Meteor Shower...
great company, decent shooting stars (approximately 1 per minute). Busted out the New York winter gear and was sufficiently warm most of the time. Pho run afterwards. Nothing wow happened, but the great thing about this time in my life is having the ability to spontaneously say, you know what, i'm pullin an all nighter tonight for fun... and have company to join you after declaring such a statement.
Patch Adams...
It was one of those, "Shiat, should have been a doctor" movies. Well, being that the path has already been chosen for me, I shall use the powers I will gain in law to help others in my chosen career path.
Thoughts about the movie:
*The respect doesn't come from the title of Dr., but from the eyes of the patients one helps every day.
*Even someone as determined as Patch can lose his way sometimes (when Karin is murdered).
*Never forget the impact you have on people.
*Don't remove your humanity from patient care by using the excuse that you want to be objective.
*Dude, I wish I had that humor capability to cheer others up.
*Never forget to take time away from studies to find purpose of studying by starting to help people early. Your grades may actually improve.
*Don't be afraid to dream big dreams because even if you aren't able to make them come true yourself, you can inspire others to work together with you to make dreams reality.
*Listen when no one else has the time to.
great company, decent shooting stars (approximately 1 per minute). Busted out the New York winter gear and was sufficiently warm most of the time. Pho run afterwards. Nothing wow happened, but the great thing about this time in my life is having the ability to spontaneously say, you know what, i'm pullin an all nighter tonight for fun... and have company to join you after declaring such a statement.
Patch Adams...
It was one of those, "Shiat, should have been a doctor" movies. Well, being that the path has already been chosen for me, I shall use the powers I will gain in law to help others in my chosen career path.
Thoughts about the movie:
*The respect doesn't come from the title of Dr., but from the eyes of the patients one helps every day.
*Even someone as determined as Patch can lose his way sometimes (when Karin is murdered).
*Never forget the impact you have on people.
*Don't remove your humanity from patient care by using the excuse that you want to be objective.
*Dude, I wish I had that humor capability to cheer others up.
*Never forget to take time away from studies to find purpose of studying by starting to help people early. Your grades may actually improve.
*Don't be afraid to dream big dreams because even if you aren't able to make them come true yourself, you can inspire others to work together with you to make dreams reality.
*Listen when no one else has the time to.
Monday, November 18, 2002
Yall make me want to be a better abe.
I took a personality test a while back and the results suggested I was a high self moniter... which means I tend to place a lot of importance on what others around me think. That basically means that yall have a large impact on how I live my life. Thusfar, yall are lookin' good.
I took a personality test a while back and the results suggested I was a high self moniter... which means I tend to place a lot of importance on what others around me think. That basically means that yall have a large impact on how I live my life. Thusfar, yall are lookin' good.
Sunday, November 17, 2002
Dohs, mucked things up. I saddened a friend at best, lost a friend at worst. The real suck of it all is that my caring got interpreted as meddling in others' affairs-- proving that good intentions can indeed be damaging.
I think what I did was like attempting to rescue a sparrow from danger, but in a rush to carry it to safety, inadvertently crush it within my hand.
Well, respecting borders and sticking to domestic affairs.
I think what I did was like attempting to rescue a sparrow from danger, but in a rush to carry it to safety, inadvertently crush it within my hand.
Well, respecting borders and sticking to domestic affairs.
Saturday, November 16, 2002
Thank goodness Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings are hits...
They both are based culturally and contextually in England (even though Lord of the Rings is filmed in New Zealand). More subtle inspiration for the people on the fence on deciding about whether to go on 40/40 Europe this summer...
For those that want an adventure, I got just the thing :o)
They both are based culturally and contextually in England (even though Lord of the Rings is filmed in New Zealand). More subtle inspiration for the people on the fence on deciding about whether to go on 40/40 Europe this summer...
For those that want an adventure, I got just the thing :o)
Slowly starting to think more like a law student...
maybe it's the drafts and drafts of personal statements i'm drafting, maybe it is residual LSAT material, maybe because i'm slowly starting to accept law as my path in life...
I said a while back that I was gonna see law thru first, looks like that's the direction i'm going with this. I am beginning to believe that I can have a knack for it in certain fields, that my training at UC Irvine has prepped me, and that I can build a viable, longterm future on this.
maybe it's the drafts and drafts of personal statements i'm drafting, maybe it is residual LSAT material, maybe because i'm slowly starting to accept law as my path in life...
I said a while back that I was gonna see law thru first, looks like that's the direction i'm going with this. I am beginning to believe that I can have a knack for it in certain fields, that my training at UC Irvine has prepped me, and that I can build a viable, longterm future on this.
How did I end up more conservative than my parents?...
shouldn't the rebellion stage have kicked in by now? For some reason, the comments about my naivity have come across more and more often. I know of at least one consequence-- I am losing my ability to perceive people because understanding vices of human nature are neccessary to understanding people. I figure people of my values lived in the early 50s...
Yet, even this will not shake my convictions of what I think I should and should not do. I have given into peer pressure in the past as as an adolscent before, and I hated it because it restricted me and I ended up with outcomes that I regetted. "Never again" is a wishful promise to make, but all I can think about is that people are counting on me to succeed and for support, to deviate is to disappoint-- for myself and for others.
Thusfar, I'm happy being me. Complacency is the killer of ambition, but i'm satisfied with life... in this sense my confidence is high. The chipper abe everyone seems to sense must be a spin off from this... it's not so much that I'm happy all the time, but that everyone seems to be unhappy/cynical most of the time so i'm comparatively more cheery.
Hung out with Jenny, Iris, Dan and a couple of strangers late tonight... part of a saga that has been my week-- plenty of socialness, scarce in productivity
I was impressed by both Iris's and Jenny's talent at the piano... as a sidenote thought, females with artistic/musical talent generally are rated more highly by me. Especially talents I don't possess because I go thru a wishful thinking process of: "dude, i wish i could do that!!," then "dohs, my parents were right in encouraging me to develop skills... should have listened to them," then "dude, my daughters are gonna learn this stuff!!!"
It was also cool seeing Iris's house... where people live is important to understanding them. I wish we could have bonded more, although I think the combination of tiredness and alcohol (I declined and thankfully everyone respected that) slowed that down considerably.
They are interesting people in their thoughts, I wish to know how they come to the conclusions they come to... what makes them tick. Understanding them may be a key to understanding me.
I drove for the first time in 4 years tonight. It was less than a mile-- got nervous, but got home. I think that in itself deserves thanks to the heavens.
Watched Harry Potter with my roommates... I thought it was a great movie because I could relate to it. I was the only one in the car who had read the book, and it was thrilling to sit there and compare how the movie brought to life characters and how I imagined them.
I am Harry Potter. I even look like him. Watching the movie makes me realize that my values are similar to his, hearing friends makes me realize I look like him. I figure if I grow up to even be half as good as him, I'm doing good. For those reading this blog to understand me, analyze Harry, cuz that's the direction I want to be going in (loyalty, courage under fire, generousity, humility, kindness of spirit, optimism, flexibility, intuition, and strength).
I am a pedafile. I thought/think Hermonie (Harry's friend) is cute, and I later found out she was 12. I feel like 11 at heart, so.... ok its gross... stupid societal restrictions. The scary part of it all is that even as I publicly declared this, so that I could be convinced of the wrongness of it all, there were people who condoned it. Perhaps because I am a boy in my thoughts, it is natural for me to become attracted to a girl in her thoughts. Well, she's smilin' on my desktop now.
I'm glad that our roommates got to hang out-- my life is unmeasurably more joyful because of their active presence in my life.
shouldn't the rebellion stage have kicked in by now? For some reason, the comments about my naivity have come across more and more often. I know of at least one consequence-- I am losing my ability to perceive people because understanding vices of human nature are neccessary to understanding people. I figure people of my values lived in the early 50s...
Yet, even this will not shake my convictions of what I think I should and should not do. I have given into peer pressure in the past as as an adolscent before, and I hated it because it restricted me and I ended up with outcomes that I regetted. "Never again" is a wishful promise to make, but all I can think about is that people are counting on me to succeed and for support, to deviate is to disappoint-- for myself and for others.
Thusfar, I'm happy being me. Complacency is the killer of ambition, but i'm satisfied with life... in this sense my confidence is high. The chipper abe everyone seems to sense must be a spin off from this... it's not so much that I'm happy all the time, but that everyone seems to be unhappy/cynical most of the time so i'm comparatively more cheery.
Hung out with Jenny, Iris, Dan and a couple of strangers late tonight... part of a saga that has been my week-- plenty of socialness, scarce in productivity
I was impressed by both Iris's and Jenny's talent at the piano... as a sidenote thought, females with artistic/musical talent generally are rated more highly by me. Especially talents I don't possess because I go thru a wishful thinking process of: "dude, i wish i could do that!!," then "dohs, my parents were right in encouraging me to develop skills... should have listened to them," then "dude, my daughters are gonna learn this stuff!!!"
It was also cool seeing Iris's house... where people live is important to understanding them. I wish we could have bonded more, although I think the combination of tiredness and alcohol (I declined and thankfully everyone respected that) slowed that down considerably.
They are interesting people in their thoughts, I wish to know how they come to the conclusions they come to... what makes them tick. Understanding them may be a key to understanding me.
I drove for the first time in 4 years tonight. It was less than a mile-- got nervous, but got home. I think that in itself deserves thanks to the heavens.
Watched Harry Potter with my roommates... I thought it was a great movie because I could relate to it. I was the only one in the car who had read the book, and it was thrilling to sit there and compare how the movie brought to life characters and how I imagined them.
I am Harry Potter. I even look like him. Watching the movie makes me realize that my values are similar to his, hearing friends makes me realize I look like him. I figure if I grow up to even be half as good as him, I'm doing good. For those reading this blog to understand me, analyze Harry, cuz that's the direction I want to be going in (loyalty, courage under fire, generousity, humility, kindness of spirit, optimism, flexibility, intuition, and strength).
I am a pedafile. I thought/think Hermonie (Harry's friend) is cute, and I later found out she was 12. I feel like 11 at heart, so.... ok its gross... stupid societal restrictions. The scary part of it all is that even as I publicly declared this, so that I could be convinced of the wrongness of it all, there were people who condoned it. Perhaps because I am a boy in my thoughts, it is natural for me to become attracted to a girl in her thoughts. Well, she's smilin' on my desktop now.
I'm glad that our roommates got to hang out-- my life is unmeasurably more joyful because of their active presence in my life.
Thursday, November 14, 2002
For those going on the 40day/40 night Europe trip... here are updates:
*I need to know who is going for sure by the end of winter break...
*Departure date is a week after spring quarter finals (end of june), so we can rest before our expedition.
*I am pretty sure we can get a group discount now... for sure people are Dan, Cynthie, and Justin.
*after the 34 day Europe tour, we will probably be staying a week in London backpacking...
*estimated total cost is under $4500 (not counting $150 discount)
*London will take at least a week to cover adequately... to cover places outside London, we would have to stay longer... good news: the longer we stay the lower the additional per-day costs will be. We may also stay with friends on EAP eliminating room costs... as long as our group is small.
*We can accommodate people who only want to go on the tour ($3500)... the discount would be even bigger (200 bucks off), but I don't want to have people fly back on their own, so for the tour only people, there has to be 2 or more of u...
*I need to know who is going for sure by the end of winter break...
*Departure date is a week after spring quarter finals (end of june), so we can rest before our expedition.
*I am pretty sure we can get a group discount now... for sure people are Dan, Cynthie, and Justin.
*after the 34 day Europe tour, we will probably be staying a week in London backpacking...
*estimated total cost is under $4500 (not counting $150 discount)
*London will take at least a week to cover adequately... to cover places outside London, we would have to stay longer... good news: the longer we stay the lower the additional per-day costs will be. We may also stay with friends on EAP eliminating room costs... as long as our group is small.
*We can accommodate people who only want to go on the tour ($3500)... the discount would be even bigger (200 bucks off), but I don't want to have people fly back on their own, so for the tour only people, there has to be 2 or more of u...
I swear some people totally make this life worth living...
the witty people who make me laugh, the supportive people who offer encouragement as cheerleaders always rootin' for me, the pick me uppers, the IMers and e-mailers who keep my inboxes full... yall know who u are. You don't always agree, but u always dare to care.
note: for those that write online journals, i'm readin daily so u keep up the good work... may our thoughts synergize into something greater than our individual parts.
Before the SHOUT meeting today I had an extra hour or so,
so I walked around campus for a bit to do some reflectin'. Things are changing, whole new buildings have popped up, and I only discovered them today. I remember being all timid as a freshman panicking about this and that, trying to memorize this building and that... now it is all second nature to me. Feelin' old, but feeling damn lucky UCI chose me even though I didn't choose it four years ago.
the witty people who make me laugh, the supportive people who offer encouragement as cheerleaders always rootin' for me, the pick me uppers, the IMers and e-mailers who keep my inboxes full... yall know who u are. You don't always agree, but u always dare to care.
note: for those that write online journals, i'm readin daily so u keep up the good work... may our thoughts synergize into something greater than our individual parts.
Before the SHOUT meeting today I had an extra hour or so,
so I walked around campus for a bit to do some reflectin'. Things are changing, whole new buildings have popped up, and I only discovered them today. I remember being all timid as a freshman panicking about this and that, trying to memorize this building and that... now it is all second nature to me. Feelin' old, but feeling damn lucky UCI chose me even though I didn't choose it four years ago.
Monday, November 11, 2002
Fridge broken due to multiple power grid failures:
The good news... less electricity use (less cooking and fridge sucks electricity like a automated vampire), more eating out so more bonding with roommates, and cleaner kitchen area (cuz less cooking).... We hope that the impending lack of eatable food will cause the fantastic females all around to help keep us from starving, we know ur out there and we know u can cook!!! oh, and we know u love us! :o)
Souplantation again today,
went at lunch, finished off an early din before returning... we beat our previous record by an hour, making the new record 5 consecutive hours in the restuarant. Oh, and we did some token studying too...
Windtalkers:
Question... if you were native american and USA told u to fight for it, would u do it? humm....
General thoughts about the movie: they tried to hard to impress everyone and in the end impressed no one in a deep way. No more war movies please, I'll take the chick flick option anyday.
New board games!!!
Oxford 59 shall live again! Dan and I brought some new games home, so if yall want to play, call me up or IM me to hook it up!!! we now have...
Risk,
Uno,
Chess
Chinese Chess
Chinese Checkers
Jenga
Cranium
Cards (multigames... mostly big2 and hearts)
Scrabble (+official scrabble dictionary!)
Monopoly
The good news... less electricity use (less cooking and fridge sucks electricity like a automated vampire), more eating out so more bonding with roommates, and cleaner kitchen area (cuz less cooking).... We hope that the impending lack of eatable food will cause the fantastic females all around to help keep us from starving, we know ur out there and we know u can cook!!! oh, and we know u love us! :o)
Souplantation again today,
went at lunch, finished off an early din before returning... we beat our previous record by an hour, making the new record 5 consecutive hours in the restuarant. Oh, and we did some token studying too...
Windtalkers:
Question... if you were native american and USA told u to fight for it, would u do it? humm....
General thoughts about the movie: they tried to hard to impress everyone and in the end impressed no one in a deep way. No more war movies please, I'll take the chick flick option anyday.
New board games!!!
Oxford 59 shall live again! Dan and I brought some new games home, so if yall want to play, call me up or IM me to hook it up!!! we now have...
Risk,
Uno,
Chess
Chinese Chess
Chinese Checkers
Jenga
Cranium
Cards (multigames... mostly big2 and hearts)
Scrabble (+official scrabble dictionary!)
Monopoly
The love and caring i'm getting from everyone is great. Half the time, I don't know why I'm on ur "A" lists because so many people are better than me in so many ways; the other half, I think ur brilliant for knowing early on that I will do some great things in this world before my time is up.
All of u form the core of my energy, I can only reflect what u radiate towards me. Thank you all.
All of u form the core of my energy, I can only reflect what u radiate towards me. Thank you all.
Read things that people usually do not read and eventually u will come across something that is valuable.
Friendship is harder than relationship.
I like to be the one that is able to protect those I care about...
My choice of protection is sacrifice... lately I feel I have applied sacrifice to everything, and sacrifice often means giving up to me... it is a cloak of fear.
My choice of protection is sacrifice... lately I feel I have applied sacrifice to everything, and sacrifice often means giving up to me... it is a cloak of fear.
Friday, November 08, 2002
Wow, why buy books when there is a wealth of information online? The technology revolution came to me slow...
YES!!! Let it rain, let it rain let it rain. Just came back from wandering outside and its a great life. Hearing the water pitter-patter on the roof and feeling a calming peace.
Please dear god let the tablet PC concept be abundantly successful....
Thursday, November 07, 2002
Personal Statement Completed!!!
please ask for a copy if you have the time and patience to edit.
In a room full of adolescents aspiring to become presidents, brain surgeons, movie stars, and professors, I wanted to become a farmer. A crescendo of whispering filled the room immediately followed my statement, and my 6th grade teacher Mrs. Purington had to hush the class before asking for my explanation of how I planned to pursue the American Dream. My answer, as I later recorded in my journal, was that I like gardening because I’m good at it, so I can be a farmer when I grow up. People are starving in Somalia because of lack of food and my skills will let me feed them.
My teacher loved my comment, and she ended the day’s sharing time by using my comment to segue into reminding us all to bring change for the Red Cross tin the next morning. My peers concurred with the teachers’ remarks and later congratulated me during recess. I felt inspired by the approbation and felt sure I had found my calling.
Choosing a career seemed simple at age eleven—the careers to be in were ones that used skills one possessed and influenced others positively. Although I never forgot my reasons for wanting to be a farmer, my years in college metamorphosed my thinking process.
Assistant teaching was one of the critical steps in transforming my thinking because it made me realize I wanted to be a professional because professionals could help people in ways most other people could not. Through Global Connect, a relatively new high school outreach program sponsored by the University of California Irvine, I got the opportunity to help educate low-income students about college opportunities. This experience was important because it simultaneously allowed me to observe the impact professionals had on a group of people and empowered me as a mentor able to influence students positively with my experience.
On a public level, by facilitating note taking as a group leader of my students, I could watch professional teachers at work. I was responsible for monitoring the effectiveness in educators’ ability to impact students and students’ level of intellectual stimulation. The ability of educators to get kids to interact and inspire interest beyond the confines of the local community into the world at large was impressive—they created a proverbial greenhouse of optimal conditions to allow the students to grow upwards. By encouraging students to think beyond their environment, the educators extended the realm of possibility for these students. The teachers acted as ideal “farmers” who cultivated critical thinking in students in ways other members of society could not; and therefore, brought hope to these students that the cycle of poverty could be broken.
On a personal level, Global Connect allowed me to become a “professional” of college affairs occasionally when students interested in college came to me with questions. This usually occurred after class, but there was one occasion where I was called out of class by a homeroom teacher to discuss with a student skeptical about her math abilities and doubtful of her potential of doing well in college. At that particular moment, I became the only person available capable of helping her because I could empathize with her fears and provide an accurate, updated account of college life and the application process. By sifting reality from general confusion, I created a realm of possibility for her. It felt great to be able to help someone in a way no one else could.
A profession in law is similar to being a teacher because the underlying goal of using skills to affect others positively is the same.
Ultimately, I hope to solve problems that are often pervasive and sometimes esoteric; problems that others’ cannot solve at particular times and places. In that sense, knowledge of the law will help me realize my dream of helping in a specific ways other people cannot.
please ask for a copy if you have the time and patience to edit.
In a room full of adolescents aspiring to become presidents, brain surgeons, movie stars, and professors, I wanted to become a farmer. A crescendo of whispering filled the room immediately followed my statement, and my 6th grade teacher Mrs. Purington had to hush the class before asking for my explanation of how I planned to pursue the American Dream. My answer, as I later recorded in my journal, was that I like gardening because I’m good at it, so I can be a farmer when I grow up. People are starving in Somalia because of lack of food and my skills will let me feed them.
My teacher loved my comment, and she ended the day’s sharing time by using my comment to segue into reminding us all to bring change for the Red Cross tin the next morning. My peers concurred with the teachers’ remarks and later congratulated me during recess. I felt inspired by the approbation and felt sure I had found my calling.
Choosing a career seemed simple at age eleven—the careers to be in were ones that used skills one possessed and influenced others positively. Although I never forgot my reasons for wanting to be a farmer, my years in college metamorphosed my thinking process.
Assistant teaching was one of the critical steps in transforming my thinking because it made me realize I wanted to be a professional because professionals could help people in ways most other people could not. Through Global Connect, a relatively new high school outreach program sponsored by the University of California Irvine, I got the opportunity to help educate low-income students about college opportunities. This experience was important because it simultaneously allowed me to observe the impact professionals had on a group of people and empowered me as a mentor able to influence students positively with my experience.
On a public level, by facilitating note taking as a group leader of my students, I could watch professional teachers at work. I was responsible for monitoring the effectiveness in educators’ ability to impact students and students’ level of intellectual stimulation. The ability of educators to get kids to interact and inspire interest beyond the confines of the local community into the world at large was impressive—they created a proverbial greenhouse of optimal conditions to allow the students to grow upwards. By encouraging students to think beyond their environment, the educators extended the realm of possibility for these students. The teachers acted as ideal “farmers” who cultivated critical thinking in students in ways other members of society could not; and therefore, brought hope to these students that the cycle of poverty could be broken.
On a personal level, Global Connect allowed me to become a “professional” of college affairs occasionally when students interested in college came to me with questions. This usually occurred after class, but there was one occasion where I was called out of class by a homeroom teacher to discuss with a student skeptical about her math abilities and doubtful of her potential of doing well in college. At that particular moment, I became the only person available capable of helping her because I could empathize with her fears and provide an accurate, updated account of college life and the application process. By sifting reality from general confusion, I created a realm of possibility for her. It felt great to be able to help someone in a way no one else could.
A profession in law is similar to being a teacher because the underlying goal of using skills to affect others positively is the same.
Ultimately, I hope to solve problems that are often pervasive and sometimes esoteric; problems that others’ cannot solve at particular times and places. In that sense, knowledge of the law will help me realize my dream of helping in a specific ways other people cannot.
Reading I Have Liked
People of generation X live in an interesting time of unprecedented opportunities. Technology and transportation developments have made travel accessible to the masses and $3000 can get a person virtually anywhere he/she wishes in the world for at least a week, excluding perhaps Antarctica & space. Times have changed for everyone. 50 years ago, my grandparents could not travel due to World War and the rebuilding that took place afterward. 20 years ago, my parents could not travel because they were first generation immigrants busy adapting to life in America. Before I read a book of travel stories entitled Chicken Soup for the Traveler’s Soul, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Steve Zikman, I had no reason not to travel, but I did not take steps to travel because it was not as urgent a priority.
When I ask about the life goals of my fellow students on campus, it seems many of them include traveling the world as one of their goals. Most students seem to be similar to me, however, and have not traveled or considered school programs like the Educational Abroad Program. Furthermore, I suspect that although travel is desirable to most people, people who graduate from college still do not travel. Their stories are similar to the first story in Chicken Soup for the Traveler’s Soul entitled We Almost Did That, by Steve Gardiner. The story only three pages long but it sends a powerful message because it describes the conflict within the UCI community and beyond. It is about a couple that debates whether or not they should live their dreams of traveling to South America to teach English and did chose the path less taken-- sacrificing security and comfort of life in suburbia. Traveling is clearly possible, but why don’t more people do it, especially students who have more freedom and less responsibility than the couple in the story?
There are two main periods in life when one can travel freely, now and after one retires. Between these two periods, we are building careers or raising families, maybe both. In our youth, we have more energy to travel, but we do not have funds to do so. My friends often explain they are working hard academically to fend of future hardship, that one must feed the stomach by earning money before the soul. Yet, a 20 hour part-time work week at the school library, at minimum wage for a year, can easily gross $3000 in funds. Students also can get financial aid for travel and cover class requirements, why do they not go? If not now, then when?
In middle age, we have our careers to build and children to rear. In old age, we have the money but not as much energy. Wealth spent on travel then can buy good window seats, but simply seeing out the window from a first class cruise ship is mildly more stimulating than watching the Discovery channel. The choice made in We Almost Did That seemed to be made partially because the couple was discontented, that they could not answer the above questions and so simply decided “now” was the best time. Perhaps this is how they thought: hardship will come; it is inevitable. When hardship does come, wouldn’t it be better to be able to reflect back on good times and at least claim a life of free will?
Another article that inspires me to re-evaluate my decision making process is To See A Volcano, by April MacNeil. Written from the perspective of a mother whose son is about to become permanently blind, Mrs. MacNeil captures the urgency of travel as she describes granting her son’s wish of seeing a volcano. The l4 year old boy is much like us—if we were to go blind in the next several months, I have no doubt that we would all board the next plane to frantically travel in visual overload. At first, when I read this story I thought that blindness was an unlikely probability; therefore, this story had no bearing on my life. I had time to wait. Yet now I wonder if blindness (or any other tragedy that can hinder one from traveling) is as remote as I once thought?
Lack of sight can beyond the corneas of our eyes—blindness can be blindness of not seeing a changing world because we assume the world is stagnant. Each day is more than the mere routine of the sun rising and setting; the world is changing faster than ever before with cities, counties, regions, states, and countries becoming increasing connected by globalization. The world we see today is not the world of tomorrow. If one does not travel to see the world as it is today, one will never see it the same way ever again and be able to compare and contrast how the world has changed.
Our environment is also declining as pollution, poaching and global warming is driving organisms and land forms to extinction. The traveler of the past could see passenger pigeons and dodo birds, but can we?
We are all aging and declining physically. Students are typically in their prime, and we will never be able match the physical stamina as we have now. One can travel in the future, but it will likely be similar to window shopping, one can see rising mountains and clear seas, but one no longer be able to experience travel as fully with other senses by traversing mountains and sailing the oceans.
Our slow, downward spiral to the end of our lives is captured in Loose Chickens, by Nancy Vineski, which found parallels between chickens in an egg-laying operation and humans in modern society. The author is a real estate agent that was surveying a property and saw a worker set a few chickens free to roam on the factory floor offered to help him catch them. The farmer declined, replying that caged chickens must see that a few of their comrades free otherwise the caged chickens would lose hope, refuse to lay eggs and die. Individuals in society, then, could be categorized into two kinds of chickens: the type that are caged in claustrophobic wire cages and forced to lay eggs which make up the majority of the chickens and the type that can roam free on the factory floor which are the select few. She concluded that having the choice she would rather be free.
It is interesting to note that unlike chickens, we have often have a choice to our degree of socialization. We can integrate ourselves into society so deeply that academic achievement and career become the center of our lives, or we can choose to be like the couple in We Almost Did That. Both types of people exist, and if most people were explicitly confronted they too would hope to be free.
Why do few people take steps to travel then? Is it fear of being different or non-conventional? I would offer that these words have bad connotations in our society so people may believe that living by the conventions of others is the best way to achieve peace and happiness. Who is to say that the chickens in the cages are unhappy? Yet, I would venture to ask, what chicken voluntarily choose the confines of a wire cage over the freedom of the factory floor?
I liked this reading because it not only encourages me to think, but it also encourages me to be proactive because there is nothing sedentary about traveling. The Gardiner’s could see it in the middle of their lives and chose quickly. The 14 year old, facing blindness, was forced to become wiser. The real estate agent could see it mirrored in the lives around her, and realized her own mortality. Since I am now aware of the choices, I must travel and take steps to travel because as a third year student, the cage of responsibility that comes with the real world of working is quickly encroaching on my freedom. If I am to be caged in society physically in the future, then at least my mind can remain free in thought and perspective through travel.
People of generation X live in an interesting time of unprecedented opportunities. Technology and transportation developments have made travel accessible to the masses and $3000 can get a person virtually anywhere he/she wishes in the world for at least a week, excluding perhaps Antarctica & space. Times have changed for everyone. 50 years ago, my grandparents could not travel due to World War and the rebuilding that took place afterward. 20 years ago, my parents could not travel because they were first generation immigrants busy adapting to life in America. Before I read a book of travel stories entitled Chicken Soup for the Traveler’s Soul, by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Steve Zikman, I had no reason not to travel, but I did not take steps to travel because it was not as urgent a priority.
When I ask about the life goals of my fellow students on campus, it seems many of them include traveling the world as one of their goals. Most students seem to be similar to me, however, and have not traveled or considered school programs like the Educational Abroad Program. Furthermore, I suspect that although travel is desirable to most people, people who graduate from college still do not travel. Their stories are similar to the first story in Chicken Soup for the Traveler’s Soul entitled We Almost Did That, by Steve Gardiner. The story only three pages long but it sends a powerful message because it describes the conflict within the UCI community and beyond. It is about a couple that debates whether or not they should live their dreams of traveling to South America to teach English and did chose the path less taken-- sacrificing security and comfort of life in suburbia. Traveling is clearly possible, but why don’t more people do it, especially students who have more freedom and less responsibility than the couple in the story?
There are two main periods in life when one can travel freely, now and after one retires. Between these two periods, we are building careers or raising families, maybe both. In our youth, we have more energy to travel, but we do not have funds to do so. My friends often explain they are working hard academically to fend of future hardship, that one must feed the stomach by earning money before the soul. Yet, a 20 hour part-time work week at the school library, at minimum wage for a year, can easily gross $3000 in funds. Students also can get financial aid for travel and cover class requirements, why do they not go? If not now, then when?
In middle age, we have our careers to build and children to rear. In old age, we have the money but not as much energy. Wealth spent on travel then can buy good window seats, but simply seeing out the window from a first class cruise ship is mildly more stimulating than watching the Discovery channel. The choice made in We Almost Did That seemed to be made partially because the couple was discontented, that they could not answer the above questions and so simply decided “now” was the best time. Perhaps this is how they thought: hardship will come; it is inevitable. When hardship does come, wouldn’t it be better to be able to reflect back on good times and at least claim a life of free will?
Another article that inspires me to re-evaluate my decision making process is To See A Volcano, by April MacNeil. Written from the perspective of a mother whose son is about to become permanently blind, Mrs. MacNeil captures the urgency of travel as she describes granting her son’s wish of seeing a volcano. The l4 year old boy is much like us—if we were to go blind in the next several months, I have no doubt that we would all board the next plane to frantically travel in visual overload. At first, when I read this story I thought that blindness was an unlikely probability; therefore, this story had no bearing on my life. I had time to wait. Yet now I wonder if blindness (or any other tragedy that can hinder one from traveling) is as remote as I once thought?
Lack of sight can beyond the corneas of our eyes—blindness can be blindness of not seeing a changing world because we assume the world is stagnant. Each day is more than the mere routine of the sun rising and setting; the world is changing faster than ever before with cities, counties, regions, states, and countries becoming increasing connected by globalization. The world we see today is not the world of tomorrow. If one does not travel to see the world as it is today, one will never see it the same way ever again and be able to compare and contrast how the world has changed.
Our environment is also declining as pollution, poaching and global warming is driving organisms and land forms to extinction. The traveler of the past could see passenger pigeons and dodo birds, but can we?
We are all aging and declining physically. Students are typically in their prime, and we will never be able match the physical stamina as we have now. One can travel in the future, but it will likely be similar to window shopping, one can see rising mountains and clear seas, but one no longer be able to experience travel as fully with other senses by traversing mountains and sailing the oceans.
Our slow, downward spiral to the end of our lives is captured in Loose Chickens, by Nancy Vineski, which found parallels between chickens in an egg-laying operation and humans in modern society. The author is a real estate agent that was surveying a property and saw a worker set a few chickens free to roam on the factory floor offered to help him catch them. The farmer declined, replying that caged chickens must see that a few of their comrades free otherwise the caged chickens would lose hope, refuse to lay eggs and die. Individuals in society, then, could be categorized into two kinds of chickens: the type that are caged in claustrophobic wire cages and forced to lay eggs which make up the majority of the chickens and the type that can roam free on the factory floor which are the select few. She concluded that having the choice she would rather be free.
It is interesting to note that unlike chickens, we have often have a choice to our degree of socialization. We can integrate ourselves into society so deeply that academic achievement and career become the center of our lives, or we can choose to be like the couple in We Almost Did That. Both types of people exist, and if most people were explicitly confronted they too would hope to be free.
Why do few people take steps to travel then? Is it fear of being different or non-conventional? I would offer that these words have bad connotations in our society so people may believe that living by the conventions of others is the best way to achieve peace and happiness. Who is to say that the chickens in the cages are unhappy? Yet, I would venture to ask, what chicken voluntarily choose the confines of a wire cage over the freedom of the factory floor?
I liked this reading because it not only encourages me to think, but it also encourages me to be proactive because there is nothing sedentary about traveling. The Gardiner’s could see it in the middle of their lives and chose quickly. The 14 year old, facing blindness, was forced to become wiser. The real estate agent could see it mirrored in the lives around her, and realized her own mortality. Since I am now aware of the choices, I must travel and take steps to travel because as a third year student, the cage of responsibility that comes with the real world of working is quickly encroaching on my freedom. If I am to be caged in society physically in the future, then at least my mind can remain free in thought and perspective through travel.
An Eternal Ten Minutes, by abe wang
This is an account of part of my trip to China and how I climbed the Great Wall...
The unmistakable putrid odor of week-old feces overpowers me as I conquer the last few steps of the final guard tower. The arched mouth of the tower beckons me to enter spewing its fowl breath over me. The sun glares down from above piercing my Nike T-shirt like steel staples through plain white copy paper.
Well, I had gone this far; I might as well go in. I enter quickly—time is of essence now, and the rickety tour bus I came in will soon sputter away in another 49 minutes and 51 seconds, 50, 49, 48… I have ten minutes before I have to head back.
I am far away; somewhere 40 minutes jogging-distance away inspecting the confines of an ancient stronghold now turned porta-potty. The coolness of the smooth bricks that constitute the floor penetrate my sneakers. Pairs of slits in the walls illuminating the darkness stare through me like silent cats. These eyes were meant to shoot fatal arrows through raging men below, but now the eyes have turned their attention inward to glare at my unannounced presence.
I have entered into another dimension of petrified motion, locked in a staring contest wrapped in a fog of wafting stench. I blink; this is a battle I cannot win.
I check my watch again using the Indigo Illuminator function to set a five-minute alarm—I am a humble firefly in the twilight flashing its luminescent behind. Four minutes and 23 seconds, 22, 21, 20… I approach the wall towards the shaft of light, a moth enchanted by bright light.
I transform at once into one of the cats encircling me, peering outside from a strategic position to see the undulating sea of hills down below. I crane for a better look, but I keep my hands off the grimy walls. The lands of the North; Mongol territory; enemies of the Middle Kingdom; thieves turned barbarians. I stare at this framed, fading tapestry, trying vainly to see outlines of marching evil approaching. I am at watch, ready to holler to my comrades to light the signal fire. My bow is steady in my hands and my canister of arrows nearby. In the distance, a line of towers snakes through the hills along the green-brown earth. It truly is a magnificent wall of greatness.
I hunger for more. I turn to the window to my left. Interesting. An empty blue cylinder greets me, perched on the windowsill, obscuring my vision.
PEPSI it mutely proclaims. It too is far away from home, an invader posing as a tourist in a foreign land. We are both not welcome here. A single entity, a one-unit army that has accomplished what minions of would be conquerors could not. Would its manufacturer be proud? Proud to know this product would one day subjugate a fortress whose designers built to be impregnable? It is a flag fluttering in front of me in another form, carefully shaded red, white, and blue. It is as foul and out of place as the nightsoil I sense is scattered around me.
Yet, it is alone. Far away from where it originated, without legs and trapped in prison of waste. I knock it from its roost with a swift flick of my finger. It lands on rocks with a light clink, demoted and dented on its side. The tower is now mine, and I am no longer a staring cat, but a king surveying my freshly annexed lands.
The alarm on my watch howls, awakening me from my stupor. I retreat with haste. Afterall, I have a bus to catch.
This is an account of part of my trip to China and how I climbed the Great Wall...
The unmistakable putrid odor of week-old feces overpowers me as I conquer the last few steps of the final guard tower. The arched mouth of the tower beckons me to enter spewing its fowl breath over me. The sun glares down from above piercing my Nike T-shirt like steel staples through plain white copy paper.
Well, I had gone this far; I might as well go in. I enter quickly—time is of essence now, and the rickety tour bus I came in will soon sputter away in another 49 minutes and 51 seconds, 50, 49, 48… I have ten minutes before I have to head back.
I am far away; somewhere 40 minutes jogging-distance away inspecting the confines of an ancient stronghold now turned porta-potty. The coolness of the smooth bricks that constitute the floor penetrate my sneakers. Pairs of slits in the walls illuminating the darkness stare through me like silent cats. These eyes were meant to shoot fatal arrows through raging men below, but now the eyes have turned their attention inward to glare at my unannounced presence.
I have entered into another dimension of petrified motion, locked in a staring contest wrapped in a fog of wafting stench. I blink; this is a battle I cannot win.
I check my watch again using the Indigo Illuminator function to set a five-minute alarm—I am a humble firefly in the twilight flashing its luminescent behind. Four minutes and 23 seconds, 22, 21, 20… I approach the wall towards the shaft of light, a moth enchanted by bright light.
I transform at once into one of the cats encircling me, peering outside from a strategic position to see the undulating sea of hills down below. I crane for a better look, but I keep my hands off the grimy walls. The lands of the North; Mongol territory; enemies of the Middle Kingdom; thieves turned barbarians. I stare at this framed, fading tapestry, trying vainly to see outlines of marching evil approaching. I am at watch, ready to holler to my comrades to light the signal fire. My bow is steady in my hands and my canister of arrows nearby. In the distance, a line of towers snakes through the hills along the green-brown earth. It truly is a magnificent wall of greatness.
I hunger for more. I turn to the window to my left. Interesting. An empty blue cylinder greets me, perched on the windowsill, obscuring my vision.
PEPSI it mutely proclaims. It too is far away from home, an invader posing as a tourist in a foreign land. We are both not welcome here. A single entity, a one-unit army that has accomplished what minions of would be conquerors could not. Would its manufacturer be proud? Proud to know this product would one day subjugate a fortress whose designers built to be impregnable? It is a flag fluttering in front of me in another form, carefully shaded red, white, and blue. It is as foul and out of place as the nightsoil I sense is scattered around me.
Yet, it is alone. Far away from where it originated, without legs and trapped in prison of waste. I knock it from its roost with a swift flick of my finger. It lands on rocks with a light clink, demoted and dented on its side. The tower is now mine, and I am no longer a staring cat, but a king surveying my freshly annexed lands.
The alarm on my watch howls, awakening me from my stupor. I retreat with haste. Afterall, I have a bus to catch.
stumbling on a stumble block two-thirds into my personal statement.......god save the queen.
Work in progress progressing!!!
My thought is clear,
My inspiration high,
My words are flowing,
I feel like writing a personal statement!!!
Thanks to Ellen, Miki, & Bon who put the pressure on this paper to get it done.
My thought is clear,
My inspiration high,
My words are flowing,
I feel like writing a personal statement!!!
Thanks to Ellen, Miki, & Bon who put the pressure on this paper to get it done.
Wednesday, November 06, 2002
Still haven't finished personal statement... if I were the American govt, this would be the vietnam war. Gotta get it donnnnnnnnnne!!!!
Should have been a teacher. Gimme another 10 years, i'll figure it out.
Tuesday, November 05, 2002
Interesting scedule from sunup to sundown...
9am-- leave house...
10am-1pm-- two classes at Estancia High, today I didn't teach but sat and took notes with the students...
1pm-5pm-- Me and fellow intern Sitoshi, Teacher Sterling and Orange County Reporter (Marie) talk about education system, our background, the AVID program, etc... the conversation was so interesting we all skipped lunch and talked for 4hrs AFTER class... when we headed toward our cars, it was already dark outside.
5pm-9pm-- Sitoshi and I talk about our unconventional views over dinner cuz both of us are starving at this point... half the conversation is about the earlier discussion, the other half is about personal stuff and relationships.
9am-- leave house...
10am-1pm-- two classes at Estancia High, today I didn't teach but sat and took notes with the students...
1pm-5pm-- Me and fellow intern Sitoshi, Teacher Sterling and Orange County Reporter (Marie) talk about education system, our background, the AVID program, etc... the conversation was so interesting we all skipped lunch and talked for 4hrs AFTER class... when we headed toward our cars, it was already dark outside.
5pm-9pm-- Sitoshi and I talk about our unconventional views over dinner cuz both of us are starving at this point... half the conversation is about the earlier discussion, the other half is about personal stuff and relationships.
been pouring out money on books...
In an attempt to educate myself before I graduate... there are so many things I don't know and college is almost over... during and after law school it will be mostly about learning specific knowledge, not general knowledge. Basically, if this were food shopping, I would be backing up the shopping cart into the aisles and just indiscriminately pushing the cans of food in. Now, i'm stocking up on books about strategy and the stock market.
In an attempt to educate myself before I graduate... there are so many things I don't know and college is almost over... during and after law school it will be mostly about learning specific knowledge, not general knowledge. Basically, if this were food shopping, I would be backing up the shopping cart into the aisles and just indiscriminately pushing the cans of food in. Now, i'm stocking up on books about strategy and the stock market.
Monday, November 04, 2002
Steps of proof I'm using to write a personal statement for law school...
1. Choosing a career was easy as a kid, I wanted to be a farmer to feed the world.
2. Now I need to reevaluate cuz farmers don't have wealth, power, and respect (big 3).
3. No Big 3, no impact on society
4. Professionals have all three and so can impact society.
5. Experience shows I can make my biggest impact by being a professional in law.
How easy and straightforward is that?! And I just can't seem to put it in straightforward black in white text. *groan.
1. Choosing a career was easy as a kid, I wanted to be a farmer to feed the world.
2. Now I need to reevaluate cuz farmers don't have wealth, power, and respect (big 3).
3. No Big 3, no impact on society
4. Professionals have all three and so can impact society.
5. Experience shows I can make my biggest impact by being a professional in law.
How easy and straightforward is that?! And I just can't seem to put it in straightforward black in white text. *groan.
Sunday, November 03, 2002
Spent the day reading a book about investing by Peter Lynch, my goal is to learn how to decipher stock. This goal is furthered simply by my fear of rewriting the personal statement for law school... It's just two pages double spaced... but for some reason the words aren't flowing. Tongue tied with writer's block. Due Monday morning. God save the queen.
Thanks for cooking lunch Lily, good to hear from everyone... I feel that despite the years, we are all very much like we were back in freshman year, in terms of character. The salmon dish, with 2 mushroom veges sides, was incredible. Nice pictures, too bad we didn't get to catch up longer. I'll bring a corkscrew next time.
Game night at Souplantation... ate and played cards for the dinner, lasting 3hrs. Food coma...
Saturday, November 02, 2002
My implicit assumption has always been that there had to be someone guiding me or pushing me in order for me to learn. I suspect most people have made this assumption subconciously, because when I say I'm taking a quarter off (Sabbatical sounds better), even if I tell them that I'm doing the same things they are doing, people are shocked. Previewing a book is no longer heard of, neither is self-learning thru books or experiement.
This quarter represents a unique opportunity to learn a skill without the crutch of instruction.
This quarter represents a unique opportunity to learn a skill without the crutch of instruction.
Shiat, should have taken some basic econ courses. Lacking in the fundamentals of econ and its terms.
Stocks, solitare for adults.
What a great country we live in:
We can buy stock and travel wherever we wish in the country as it suits us.
We can buy stock and travel wherever we wish in the country as it suits us.
The floodgates of spending have been opened:
Been eating out 3-4 times a week (up from 2 times a week),
Bought $50 worth of books online... with $30 gift card...
Bought $50 worth of books in UCI bookstore cuz of Halloween sale... and that's AFTER the 25% discount...
Bought 23 pounds of grapes cuz they were hella cheap... the freezer is full...
Been buying boba, not as a reward for doing something good, but just because...
Thinking process: If I can imagine myself walking away from it and will feel bad, then screw it, might as well buy it. Justifying money spent by thinking that I am investing heavily in health and education futures. But whoa, starting to feel a dent in my capital base.
Been eating out 3-4 times a week (up from 2 times a week),
Bought $50 worth of books online... with $30 gift card...
Bought $50 worth of books in UCI bookstore cuz of Halloween sale... and that's AFTER the 25% discount...
Bought 23 pounds of grapes cuz they were hella cheap... the freezer is full...
Been buying boba, not as a reward for doing something good, but just because...
Thinking process: If I can imagine myself walking away from it and will feel bad, then screw it, might as well buy it. Justifying money spent by thinking that I am investing heavily in health and education futures. But whoa, starting to feel a dent in my capital base.
Friday, November 01, 2002
Book shopping rules!!! If you are gonna go, call me up. oh, that and beach combing... call me up on that one too.
Roommates are cool:
I was sitting at my desk clicking this and that, searching for something, when Eric said to use the scroll button on the mouse cuz it was more efficient... I looked down and realized that he upgraded my mouse for me cuz my old one was sticking. How cool is that?!
Kevin periodically calls back from no where telling us he is at this and that store or restuarant and asks if we want anything... I decided to order a pizza one day and only realized later that the place I ordered from made pizza as it was ordered... Kevin stood by for half an hour waiting for it, and if I hadn't said anything he wouldn't have said anything. How self-lessly cool is that?!
Daniel routinely comes home late cuz he works, and so parking is a problem late at night... Kevin, therefore, parks farther out voluntarily so that Daniel will have a space. Daniel in return ferries us to out to our favorite late night binge eating sessions. How cool is that?!
I couldn't find a freaking phone card that was under 10 bucks to make a long distance call to the law school registration services, and after a long day of searching for one, I came home pissed and frustrated. I opened the door and stepped into the living room and before I could say anything, Chris offers his phone card he found with 16 min on it. He took the time to think about what I needed and took steps to solve the problem. How cool is that?!
Andy made the greatest chicken burger in the world for me one day randomly... and it was hella good too!!! How cool is that?!
Justin? well Justin is quiet most of the time... But the coolest thing about him is that he doesn't mind when the rest of us are kinda loud at night...
I was sitting at my desk clicking this and that, searching for something, when Eric said to use the scroll button on the mouse cuz it was more efficient... I looked down and realized that he upgraded my mouse for me cuz my old one was sticking. How cool is that?!
Kevin periodically calls back from no where telling us he is at this and that store or restuarant and asks if we want anything... I decided to order a pizza one day and only realized later that the place I ordered from made pizza as it was ordered... Kevin stood by for half an hour waiting for it, and if I hadn't said anything he wouldn't have said anything. How self-lessly cool is that?!
Daniel routinely comes home late cuz he works, and so parking is a problem late at night... Kevin, therefore, parks farther out voluntarily so that Daniel will have a space. Daniel in return ferries us to out to our favorite late night binge eating sessions. How cool is that?!
I couldn't find a freaking phone card that was under 10 bucks to make a long distance call to the law school registration services, and after a long day of searching for one, I came home pissed and frustrated. I opened the door and stepped into the living room and before I could say anything, Chris offers his phone card he found with 16 min on it. He took the time to think about what I needed and took steps to solve the problem. How cool is that?!
Andy made the greatest chicken burger in the world for me one day randomly... and it was hella good too!!! How cool is that?!
Justin? well Justin is quiet most of the time... But the coolest thing about him is that he doesn't mind when the rest of us are kinda loud at night...
KUDOS TO YOU!!!
*For those out there with glasses and refuse to change cuz society tells them so, kudos to you.
**For the guys out there who treat women with respect and attempt to understand women, kudos to you.
***For the guys who would rather treat everyone equally good, rather than treat a fawne female nicer than others, kudos to you.
****For the guys AND gals who don't put their friends on hold and their significant others on priority ALL, kudos to you.
*****For those fawne gals that let guys down nice, kudos to you.
******For those that are alcohol, sex, smoking, and drug free, kudos to you.
*******For those that give blood/plasma/ blood samples to be a bone donor, kudos to you.
~For those that give people rides, kudos to you.
~~For those that cook for friends, kudos to you.
~~~For those those that remember birthdays, kudos to you.
~~~~For those that exercise regularly, kudos to you.
~~~~~For those that work for all their spending money, kudos to you.
+For those that get "thank you, Thank God you are here" or "I'm glad you're in my life" comments at least once a week, kudos to you.
++For those that can put on a smile in the worst times, kudos to you.
+++For those that share their blessings, kudos to you.
++++For those who stick their principles in the most difficult times, kudos to you.
*For those out there with glasses and refuse to change cuz society tells them so, kudos to you.
**For the guys out there who treat women with respect and attempt to understand women, kudos to you.
***For the guys who would rather treat everyone equally good, rather than treat a fawne female nicer than others, kudos to you.
****For the guys AND gals who don't put their friends on hold and their significant others on priority ALL, kudos to you.
*****For those fawne gals that let guys down nice, kudos to you.
******For those that are alcohol, sex, smoking, and drug free, kudos to you.
*******For those that give blood/plasma/ blood samples to be a bone donor, kudos to you.
~For those that give people rides, kudos to you.
~~For those that cook for friends, kudos to you.
~~~For those those that remember birthdays, kudos to you.
~~~~For those that exercise regularly, kudos to you.
~~~~~For those that work for all their spending money, kudos to you.
+For those that get "thank you, Thank God you are here" or "I'm glad you're in my life" comments at least once a week, kudos to you.
++For those that can put on a smile in the worst times, kudos to you.
+++For those that share their blessings, kudos to you.
++++For those who stick their principles in the most difficult times, kudos to you.
Helping nice people is doubly good,
because you know if you help a nice person they will be:
a) grateful,
b) Help other people, thereby passing on your kindness.
because you know if you help a nice person they will be:
a) grateful,
b) Help other people, thereby passing on your kindness.
I used to wish for answers, but now I wish for good friends.
I wonder how many college friends I'm going to keep after college? I really don't want to be the type that happens to be friends only with those that happen to be around me at the time.
With my high school friends I have no doubt anymore, we are like *this!*
But what of college friends? Thank God for AIM keeping us together for now, but law school sucks up time like no other. I really do care about the people who I have established relationships with-- to the point where I can name several people who if ever needed my kidney, I would ask where I can sign up to donate mine... But if I disappeared tomorrow, would the college people know?
I wonder how many college friends I'm going to keep after college? I really don't want to be the type that happens to be friends only with those that happen to be around me at the time.
With my high school friends I have no doubt anymore, we are like *this!*
But what of college friends? Thank God for AIM keeping us together for now, but law school sucks up time like no other. I really do care about the people who I have established relationships with-- to the point where I can name several people who if ever needed my kidney, I would ask where I can sign up to donate mine... But if I disappeared tomorrow, would the college people know?
My friends need to be able to think beyond themselves... sometimes that means self-sacrifice.
I'm living in the greatest time of my life now because I can meet and talk to people my age, and explore any academic subject I so wish to any depth. The future won't be that shabby either cuz that's where future Lady Wang is, when true self-reliance is reached, where Europe is conquered...
