The State of Abe, Inc.

No new orders for my books today... my business will eventually peter out from lack of new inventory... and I don't have any new products I can sell on ebay too. Arghies.

Feel screwed over by UC Irvine as they cut off their services to me once again. Considering not donating as an alumni. boooooooooOOO!!!

Rejected by University of Texas, waitlisted by William and Mary.

Oxford Court Condos

Seeking a male student to share master room for $325 during summer.

*10 min walking from UCI
*Share private bathroom
*Cable modem
*Free washer & drier privileges
*Starting (June 15th, 2002)
*Furnished

Paying attention at work can result in unpaid-pay!! My mom is a bit gabby at times, but this time it almost paid off for Friend Linda. Linda called to chat, and my mom told her about a couple kids who needed math tutors. If Linda could drive, she could have hooked it up and became rich and famous! Okay, maybe rich. Okay, okay, maybe richER. The point is that when you get a job, pay attention to the people that walk past your work-desk each day because they sometimes are in good positions to give you a boost on the ladder of success. Talk about unpaid workers’ benefits. Query: why can’t my mom hook ME up?!~ *humpf, I can’t wait that long, I’m gonna do it myself!

I saw Uncle Yang replace a back door at the Lancaster property today… I admit I initially had my doubts about the way he was going about it. Of course, I’ve never seen anyone put in a door before either. Four hours later, the door was in, and in better condition than the professionally-done front door. Impossible to possible, a lesson learned today about the imprecision of skepticism in determining future events. How many other things have I been skeptical about that are actually possible?

There are people out there who can imagine and invent things totally out of this world… think Leonardo da Vinci. Then there are people like me, who must see something done before applying it to a situation with a similar context… I copy, then adapt ideas into slightly different contexts to solve problems. Therefore, someone like me needs to see more and experience more to get an innovator’s edge.

Most of us have all our limbs, we speak (or babble) as bilinguals, are college educated, have successful role models. Do you realize that we are walking intellectual property worth $100 million each to our families and the State? If the powers that be knew this, they would probably give u a SWAT team of Yao-Ming-sized bodyguards. The bigger question: With all these advantages, shouldn’t we all have the confidence and gumption to succeed in life?

Southwestern, the only law school I have gotten into so far, is asking me to decide by the end of the coming week whether I will put my money where my acceptance is… after much thinking, I have decided to decline their offer. Two reasons.

First, there are 7 schools left that I presume are still thinking. Think instant-win lottery ticket scratched by the hand of God.

Second, Bon put it best when she said that she isn’t sure that I “want law school bad enough.” In other words, I might be better off working for a year to make sure and reapply if I still feel the need to go to law school. So I’m going to try to beef-up my year off work plan and wait out the 7 schools. Fear of uncertainty can be displaced with confidence in alternative measures. I also think I should have a hand in paying for at least a third of my law school education ($20k?), which might help me to want it bad enough… that amount is what it would take to do Europe46 four times over.

Is it wrong not to tell your employer you can only work for three months? I found the coolest job prompt in the world and they want someone full time for a least a year. Major factions of the Abe Council are divided in their advice, and I am confused.

Having trouble seeing future events… like predicting future real estate value or stock prices. I need the magic eye that can see a Las Vegas when only desert is before my eyes. I know a part of it is research and common sense… I intend to find answers in the next 5 years.

How are you? What did you do today? What’s up? Try to answer these questions using more than one sentence. The answers that I usually get-- nothing much, fine, okay, went to class and watched tv… What a nothing and boring life!!~ How the hell do people get bored at our age?! The only time I get remotely close to bored is when my eyes give out from reading… and even then I can simply sit and contemplate things. Times have changed, experience gathered, transportation improved, friendships easier to make… get out there and do something! Even if you are stuck at home or idling in line, we have received and stored enough memories at age 21 for a lifetime of processing/daydreaming…

Flipped through a copy of Europe 101, Rick Steve’s history and art for the traveler book… I recognize some of the information from high school—that was four years ago!! I doubt my friends will be interested the fine details of painting, sculpture, culture, politics and war… so when I take pictures of importantly obscure things, I’ll come back with pictures that make perfect sense only to me…. I’ll try to explain my travels in understandable terms and become a “voice for people at home and abroad who will never see their names on a plane ticket.”

For those of yall that don’t know, I haven’t really driven since I got my driver’s license 4 years ago, and I have NEVER DRIVEN ON THE GAWDDAMN FREE WAY BEFORE. So during Spring Break, I determined to make a getaway from status quo, and I drove to Irvine with Mom and Bon looking out for me… it was nearly a disaster… several times!!! I did learn some finer points of driving after a couple swerves, but I’m not adept enough to drive to Irvine on my own as I hoped I would be after this week. My main problems are changing lanes and directions. Not being able to safely drive puts pressure on my to find a bus route or roommate willing to take me to and from my (soon to be found) job. Driving to and from Irvine on weekends will slowly bring me up to speed hopefully, but for now I will have to find the job first; worry about the transportation later.

A plane whizzed by in the night as everyone but me was sleeping (I was journaling, a soon to be fashionable trend I just know is going to catch on in the next 50 years), and I remembered reading about the silent terrors of the skies—B2 bombers that you would hear AFTER the bombs had already been dropped… What I heard wasn’t a bomber, but it could have been had we been in bad times. But these are good times (well aside from the dinky Gulf War II and slight recession), and the plane passed by without incident. Such is the way of things in context. How great it is to live in relative safety sleeping soundly into the night.

Every talent and skill can be employed to make money. Today, Yang Mama’s son demonstrated this to me as we went to tour his new business. He recently opened up a boba place—whether it is successful remains to be seen—but he has been inventive in his decorations, as the place was basically built with scrap metal of his own design. It looks quite trendy actually, and aside from labor, what comes cheap could have come expensive. Art employed for business means, brilliant.

Can u eat and get aroused at the same time? I never understood the thinking behind Hooters. When you eat your blood rushes to your stomach to process food, but it can't do that when your *twang!*~ I hear they have their own airline now. Geez.

I can't stand debt. This is a primary driver of abe motivation... to pay off debts as quickly as possible. One of the good results of this thinking is that since I feel I owe a debt to society, it will motivate me to pay back society eventually...

What are you going to do this spring break?

**Presiding over contract signing (one of my duties as house manager),
**Going home sunday night.
**Pick up Sista Bons monday.
**Play with hs friends

**Learn to drive Shadowfax P.O.S.S.U.M.
**Catch up on reading
**Tend my garden
**Help parents prep apt?
**Job search?

It's gonna be a busy one...

I sold another book online, this time for $7.56!!~ First step, $7.56, one thousandth step $7.56 million!!~

Money Scheme idea EXTENSION:

Thought of a way to help raise cash for SHOUT club and make me money. It is basically the same idea as I had yesterday, except upgraded. What better than to fight for the homeless, poor students who get ripped off by the forces that be, and me, myself and I?! Yaaaaaaaaae!!!

My mind and energy for new money making ideas are spinning like a whirlwind... must exercise mind!!~

my money scheme is working!
i just sold a book online!

thats one small step for information technology,
one giant step in abe understanding!!~

Somewhere out there...

...from "fivel goes west" is my favorite song of all time. Used to love that movie. It was all about traveling to a foreign place and feeling all alone, but then realizing that ur loved ones are looking at the same moon and thinking of u. Yes, in the movie, I am Fivel, the little loss mouse looking for my loved ones and growing up along the way.

In light of recent events, Sister Bon says:

lots of rejection for the wang fam

Bon didn't get a second interview, I got rejected from Wisconsin.

Someone who happened to find my name interesting so left the following comment...

You don't know me but I read your blog occasionally and I just wanted to say Congratulations!


when I asked her about it, she said...

Big BeeBee: i didn't think i was interesting enough to track down

Jennydown17: i don't know.. i was updating my blog and you know how on the blogger site they have the recently updated blogs or whatever on the left hand side?

Big BeeBee: they do?
Jennydown17: yes
Big BeeBee: haha cool

Jennydown17: well i liked the name of yours and so i thought it sounded interesting and so i went

Everyone is gone for spring break. I'm gonna ship out sunday night. Quiet time. And a preview of how life post graduation will be like. My emotions, the legendary source of my energizer bunny strength, feels like a weakness at the moment.

Gosh, even the gals know they go after assholes. *shakes fist*


misshissyfits: yeah he said he wanted closure
misshissyfits: girls love assholes
Big BeeBee: ASSHOLE :-(

misshissyfits: girls always go for ones that treat them like shiat
misshissyfits: then they wine and complain

Thought of an idea of how to make money... yes the desire to earn cash has risen again in the line of priorities.

Waiting for graduation thoughts to kick in... they still haven't... feeling blah about it all. Tomorrow is the last day to pick up cap and gown, I could care less. Thinking I may be an ass and stand in the crowd watching everyone else graduate if I feel spasms of sentimentality... thusfar, the only thing I will regret about leaving Irvine is that my friends will once again separate across the states from which they came... the UCI campus has limited effect on my emotions except to stir memories.

Geez, everyone is gone or is going to go to Europe. It doesn't seem as enteprising for me to anymore. Europe traveling is like a common language... everyone speaks it fluently. Of course that doesn't stop me from going... I gotta know what everyone's fussing about.

Coolest advice I've gotten thusfar post graduation. Yes, i'm graduated now.

Veroom112: dont quit cause your chicken

Friend Vero Speaks, I Listen...

Veroom112: i remember when i first met u, u introduced urself as chicken wang
Veroom112: do you still call urself that?

Big BeeBee: haha
Big BeeBee: no i don't
Big BeeBee: didn't know u remembered that
Big BeeBee: when was this?
Big BeeBee: freshman year?

Veroom112: your freshmen year, yup
Veroom112: it was in the dorms, i was visiting mikey

Big BeeBee: who says first impressions don't matter?

I'm graduating TODAY, still dunno what to think. I can tell u what I want to do 10 years from now, but I can't figure out what's happening 5 years from now... well except europe. Law school isn't even set... it depends on who accepts me and so far i got into 1.1/5.0 schools.

Graduating in one day. I feel like I did back when I graduated from high school. Full of uncertainty, some fear, plenty of hopes... one more essay left to turn for tomorrow... I feel reluctant to do it because it will be the true stamp of my college record.

Friend Alice saves the day!!~

Friend of mine really needed help on a Stats Final tomorrow, and though I did well in the class (thanks to the help of several friends/angels), I had taken it 2 years ago and suffered from college amnesia syndrome. There was no one else who could help, so it was either me (slightly better) or nothing (slightly worse).

So I frantically looked for a copy of the book wondering how the hell I was gonna help someone out and pull my own finals weight, and Alice happened to be online. She not only let me borrow the book (slightly valuable) but also her notes (salvation on a silver platter). So now I have the know how to properly explain all AND have extra time to cram because I don't have to reinvent the wheel.

Good job Alice, you get the State of Abe button, second class, for your honorable efforts.

Look what Friend Fran found....

http://www.bigbeebee.blogpsot.com/

Apparently, a difference of two letters will bring you to "aaron's bible."

gawddamn i finally figured out what a kiwi was!!! A new zealander!! Oh, and Aussie is Australian...

Comments and Response from Friend Christine regarding "My Last Stand at Estancia" article...

First I'd like to say thanks for taking the time to throughly analyze my thought process. It is the reason why I built the State of Abe and your support is needed. Thank you Christine-ness!!~

~~~~~> Christine speaks in italics, I mummur in default fonts...

two things. i think if you teach kids that the amount of money does not matter, then they have the freedom to pursue whatever you want. teachers make enough to live good lives, yet it's not enough for most people because they want more than just decent. they want rich. just because one doesn't pursue money, doesn't make one lazy, or spoiled.

Interesting way of approaching it. I feel I have to tell my kids that money does matter simply because it is something our society values. To tell them otherwise would be like telling them that Santa Claus exists. I agree that teachers make enough to live good lives... but the parents of my neighbors family are both teachers, one in arcadia and one at a community college, and when one of their three kids wanted to go to a private school she couldn't because they could not pay for it. Not being able to pay for my kids education to the fullest extent irks me.

I also agree that you aren't neccessarily spoiled or lazy if you don't pursue money. My gardener, for instance, is the happiest person alive and he works hard only pursuing money as it is neccessary. Nuns pursue spiritual awakening and do volunteer work all the time, and from what I have encountered, they aren't lazy either. My point in my statement, however, was that if I give my kids money without them working for it, they will never learn the value of money... they will just keep spending it and spending it. Why go outside to get your food if you can get room service daily? I see a plenty of spoiled rich kids, but I have yet to see a spoiled poor kid.


second thing. there was this commercial a while back. the father asks his kid, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" the kid says, " a teacher." "don't you want to be a doctor or a lawyer?" "without teachers, where would they be?" you keep saying you want to build an empire. here's the question. what is your empire going to be of? money that you've earned? or the lives that you've changed?

My empire is going to be of my family (that is my family and close friends). The money, the traveling of the world, the doing things that people have never done before-- all these are to increase my ability to help my family and bring greater glory to the empire. It is through the people of my empire that I will change the world. I have elected to find the best people that I can find and help them help others. In this indirect way, the State of Abe will build a better world.

Big BeeBee: fooooooooood
Big BeeBee: feeding time!!!
Big BeeBee: yae!!!!!!!!!

Acceptance from Southwestern, a small star of the west glimmers. Got rejection letter from Berkeley, a big star of the West dims. And the prospects outside the state remain foggy. Too early to speculate.

Happy Finals Week all...

For all those that haven't figured it out, Finals Week is also known as Singles Week. This is our revenge for the insidious day V(aldez)-Day. Why?

It's high stress. People who are hooked up have issues dealing with the high tension, so either hole themselves up from their loved ones or take it out on loved ones... both of which is bad for couples. For those that single, they have the opportunity to study with other people because studying alone is...

a) nearly impossible
b) makes one feel even more lonely

So the result is a study group. The pressure of finals makes it easier for people to go thru this thinking process while studying:

ahhh fuck it, I've had a crush on you for _________, would u like to get a cup of ______ and talk it over?

Why? Various reasons, but the one that comes to mind for me is that when under pressure, people can't handle to normal pressure of keeping thoughts and feelings to self. Feelings toward another person can be especially difficult to repress. For the single shy people out there, this may be a good thing. Good luck and good hunting all.

So we land on English soil on june 15th, and start the 37 day expedition... and I hear we hit the ground running.

Greece is in the middle of the tour, did you sign up for the cruise option? I didn't, I figured it's better to take a break from 5am wakeup calls and perhaps do some catch up journaling in the 3-4 days of leisure.

I'm going to pick up a Let's go Western Europe book and flip thru it in spring... cuz we are already spending 4400 bucks, might as well know what we are seeing.

After our whirlwind tour, I wanted to slow down a bit and see things in detail at my own pace. I calculated that 7 days would give me plenty of time to do all the walking tours in the book, have tea-time, watch the changing of the guards, watch the sunset, chat with a stranger while I wait for the perfect picture, stare at a Monet or Van Gogh for several minutes from different angles, contemplate our tour before the background noise of homecoming scatters my thoughts,...

If there is extra time, I can go to stonehenge (nothing really to see I hear, but it's one of those things you do just so you can say you have been there done that... like New Years in Times Square), or cambridge where the college towns are, it would be interesting to see how people our age are living it up over there...

The idea is to get a bit of both types of travel, so that I don't come home and say, yeah I saw everything but I saw nothing. And, the longer you stay in Europe, the cheaper the trip becomes per day. As we get closer to departure, I'll develop a day to day iternary.

umm... yes, I plan like a frantic squirrel. What's your plan? Ideas on how to streamline my plan? The reason the 7 day trip is at the end of our tour instead of in the beginning is because june 15th is the last discounted day (we saved like $300 bucks by booking just 4 days earlier!), and I have want to be around irvine before then to move all my belongings home and help transfer the reins of House Managership to my successor. The cost of the extra tripping is about $80 per day ($50 hotel, $20 food, $10 museum admission and other), or about 600 bucks after 7 days. That's an even $5000 for Europe46.

My Last Stand at Estancia High… Aftershock report:

Graduating 1.5 weeks from now, and yesterday the interns and I went in for our last presentation for the quarter. Whether I join them next quarter is up in the air, but today's performance, well, it was a performance. We kicked ass. Those that were prepared came thru, those that were impromptu were on the mark... everyone had something interesting to contribute.

In hindsight, it was a match made in heaven, but hours and minutes before, the possibility of doing well seemed highly questionable. I think Ellen (our stressed advisor) and I were the only prepared ones, Satoshi crossdressed in hoochie clothes, Hugo was tired and irritable... If Satoshi couldn't get in, it would have been me and Hugo presenting...

What happened with the crossdressing? Thankfully we got in through the front office of the school, I think it helped that I was dressed up too (although I went in shirt and tie... my interview clothes courtesy of Mom and Bon) so we could play it off as a skit in class. In class, our lesson was about "getting to an informed opinion" and we were able to work satoshi in by contrasting him with me. Thank God, miracles happen.

What's my take on crossdressing in class? Well, I wasn't vocally pissed off like Hugo was, but I did agree that it was unprofessional. Wrong time and place… especially since our program is a new one and we are trying to attract other school sites in the area. Furthermore, in the high school environment, hoochie-wear was inappropriate because it undermined our professionalism. Women can dress up too, and Satoshi could have worn a women's business suit instead of tanktops and flip flops to make his point. If he tried to do it again, I would vehemently oppose.


Personally, I never have come so close to considering teaching as a career as today. I feel good because I found something I can do well, AND it makes a positive difference to people. At one point, I explained NATO with an elaborate story about stupidly chasing a ball in the middle of the freeway and THE KIDS GOT IT. About a half dozen murmured “wooo…” That matters.

It is ironic that on this generally happy day, that I am saddened. Why? Because though I have flirted with this teaching internship, I’m unmistakably on the path to law. Why not teaching? Because I can’t make enough money by teaching to build the empire I want to build. If I had financial backing for life, then I could consider saving the world through pure teaching or volunteer work. I used to have some artistic talent too, but it was left undeveloped because I needed to develop my economical talents (or lack thereof) first. I used to wish I could give my kids the financial freedom to develop whatever talents they had, but now I’m thinking that give the kids money for freedom and they will turn lazy, become inbred or be spoiled.

holy shiat!

some guy online-journaled his entire contiki tour experience...
he went on my 37 day tour, stayed for 43 days instead of 46.

reading the battle report now...

Checking out my Wallstreet Journal, they had an ad offer for 10 flowering trees for $10... well it was free, but you had to become a member of the National Arbor Day Foundation. So I'm looking at the array of dogwoods, crabapples, goldenraintrees, washington hawthorns, and american rosebuds, and BONUS rose of sharon... and the gardener in me is prancing around my mind wondering where I can fit ten trees in my garden, imagining a backyard full of flowers around the year....

Hey anyone want a tree? They are supposed to ship them to me, but perhaps if we all take a tree to help the environment, I can accept the offer. And they flower too!

Or I could be even more ambitious and make copies of the ad, post them around campus for people... or I can get like a 100 trees and then try to get rid of them one by one because bigger problems lead to bigger solutions.... muh hahhaa!!~

Woo Hoo!!! I got more responses about Europe46!~

Got another advisor, but more importantly, I got feedback from TWO people GOING ON THE SAME TRIP!~ I hear there are 50 people per tour, so I had no expections and blind miracle hopes till now.

*The flag of the State of Abe waves gleefully over our territories.

Entering college in my freshman represented an advancement in life, a new world of opportunity. College is a hermetically sealed bubble world... an isolated place that spawns unique ecosystems which don't exist anywhere else. But now I see college as limited in its capability in teaching me what I think I need to know.

I now see my future as increasingly rootless and mobile... no financial security at the moment, no rental properties or real estate to manage, going to europe solo, law school far away... my mission now is to develop internal motivation from sunup to sundown in the spirit of competition and secure a piece of the sky to call my own.

Friend Jon made a good point the other day, that I shouldn't be sad as I move on because my real friends will keep in touch, otherwise they aren't real friends. If they are worth keeping in touch with, you will take steps to safeguard and build those relationships. There will be those that you can't let go of-- those are the ones you will keep. For me, those people are my family (includes blood family and friends close enuf to be family). And I expect my postcard calling cards from Europe will help sustain quality relationships (Sign up if you haven't done so already).

It's time to move on... but you know what? The next big jump, one in which most people think I will succeed in because prevailing thought holds that I'm of above-average intelligence, is one that I'm not yet prepared for mentally. I feel like I'm less mature than my peers, that my growth process is slower... Other people can interact with adults as adults, have had a bf/gf relationship before, gotten real interviews and real jobs, know how to magically dress themselves according to the formality of the occassion, know how to drive and parallel park... things that college students should know! If anyone should be staying for five years in college, it should be me.

I do know, however, that even though I may develop slowly, I will still be dying when everyone else is hopefully; about 60 years from now. Hence the need to get a move on. Ready or not, here I come.

Scout's report from special ops in Europe 46...

I found a message board on the contiki website yesterday at around 2am, so I flipped thru all the messages from the past year gathering advice from the people that have been on these tours. I found a couple who had been on my specific tour and people who were going the same time as me! I basically pulled a voluntary all-nighter to read messages, post messages, flip thru albums upon albums of pictures, and then email all the poeple. Here is the most interesting reply I've gotten yet on what's coming up...


> Hi! my name is abe, and I'm a 21 year old recent polisci and sociology grad-- and i'm going on the european adventurer on june 15th, then staying an extra 7 days in london to sightsee on my own (total of 46 days).

Hi Abe,

Sounds like you're in for a great trip. I wish I could go back.


> I was wondering how big each tour group was,

Our group was 47 people (plus the tour manager and driver, for total 49). Groups are around 45-50 people, cause that's how many fit on the coach.


> what percentage was traveling alone,

Of the 47, probably about 14-15 were travelling "alone" (our group was skewed by the fact that we had 12 people who were all cousins, all travelling together. most groups have more solo). Well, they started off alone anyway, maybe for the first 5 minutes. After that, they were all best friends. One of the advantages of travelling with a tour.


> what was the median age,

I didn't do a calculation, but I'd say somewhere in early 20s. The oldest was 31, followed by a 29 and a couple of 27s. But most people were younger.


> how many hours of sleep did u get per day?

Oh man, you don't even WANT to know! :) Actually we got quite a few hours of sleep . . . just most of them were on the bus! In all seriousness, we tended to alternate party nights with more quiet nights. There were a few people on the tour who went all-out and partied every single night, but most of us had to pace ourselves a bit. We did tend to wake up quite early most mornings, but you get used to it after a while.


> how much more did u spend to do outside excursions,

I spent about 400 euros on optionals - I did most but not all (really regretting missing George's Boat in Corfu). Actually, almost all the
optionals are extremely worth it. Plus another 100 euros or so for tips for the driver and tour manager at the end. And I spent about 500 euros spending money for food, sightseeing, shopping, etc. in total. Plus, if you're spending a week in London after the tour, don't forget to budget for it.


> what are essential items to bring,

Aside from the usual packing list, which I won't go through because I assume you know to bring t-shirts and shorts and stuff . . . essential items would be some kind of cough medecine (EVERYONE gets the "Contiki cough" at one point or another), a couple of quasi-nice outfits for going out in the evenings, a camera of course, sunblock (even if you never burn at home, the sun in Greece is HOT - just see my pictures to see how many people walked around like lobsters), a comfortable pair of shoes for walking around, a
pack-pillow, flip-flops for showers, a rain jacket, and a lot of ziploc bags for anything that could possibly leak.


> are the showers individual or communal?

In some places there are showers in the cabins/rooms, and in some places they're across the campsite or down the hall. In all cases, the stalls are individual. In some cases, they're nicer/cleaner/better than others. Freezing cold showers, showers with no pressure . . . It's all part of the experience! Actually, it really wasn't that bad, the showers were for the most part varied but pretty good.


> What was the coolest thing u did in the 37 days?

Where do I begin? I guess some of the "coolest" things would be white-water rafting in Austria, watching the sun come up from the hotel rooftop in Corfu, climbing the Eiffel Tower in Paris . . . I can't possibly name all the cool things I did. It would take too long.


> What would u have done differently?

Um . . .that's a tough one. Maybe gone on a few more of the optionals. Maybe packed lighter. I dunno. But I don't really believe in living life as a "what if". Travelling, like anything else, has its ups and downs. There were days - like when I got sick in Rome - that just plain sucked. There's no way you can expect to go away for 45 days and not have a single bad moment. But the point is, the overall experience was amazing. And that's a realistic expectation to have.


> How long do they let u tour museums?

For the most part, as long as you wanted. Because (with a couple of exceptions) we went touring on our own. We'd get a free day in each city, they'd give us a map and a meeting place and time, and we could go off and do/see whatever we wanted. Some people spent an entire day in the Louvre in Paris. We opted to spend only a short amount of time, seeing the Mona Lisa and the Venus de Milo, and then we wanted to experience other things in Paris. There's no rule that says you have to go back to the campsite or
hotel with the bus either. You can stay in the city and go out at night and make your own way back, too. There's a lot of freedom.


> Do the tourguides take u to particular sites and just say meet at the bus at a certain time, or can u follow the guide here and there?

See above for the most part. There were some sites we saw with tour guides, for example the Acropolis in Athens. But that's because we only had a half-day in Athens, and the Acropolis doesn't make much sense without a guide. We had a guided walking tour of Florence in the morning when we were there, but the afternoon free. Most people went to see art - my friend and I stopped quickly to see the statue of David, then we went across town to see Florence's only synagogue. Yeah, we were probably the only ones to do that. We also spent time leather jacket shopping. So it's kinda up to you.


> how did u contact home and how often?

I have paranoid parents so I tended to phone home every 3-4 days. Some people never called. There's nobody forcing you to phone, but there's plenty of opportunity. Phone cards are widely available. I used Canada Direct and a calling card, which worked very nicely in every country but Italy for some reason. A lot of people used the Contiki E-kit and that was fine too. Also, most major cities had internet cafes, and I tended to stop off once a week on average to check my e-mail and send out mass e-mails to all my friends with updates on where I'd been and what I'd seen. Some places were more expensive for internet than others.

Do you really know abe? Show ur knowledge and shine!~

Big BeeBee: what am i afraid of?
Big BeeBee: what would i do with a million and a half dollars and 50 cents?
Big BeeBee: what's the most important quality Lady Wang will have?

Worrying about law school is futile. Going to study to ace finals, resistance is futile!!~

rejection from notredame
waiting list for minnesota
notredame chances were 15-20 %
minnesota 20-30%

woke up from nap, feeling tired, feeling humbled.
of the schools i can go to,
there are 12 left
and i feel less and less secure about them
my next best chances are in colorado, georgia, and iowa

It would be so easy to fulfill all my dreams of travel, all I would have to do is simply let go... but I can't. Today I live with the knowledge that I can take the easy way out, that whatever I can conceive, I can do without delay.

If it comes too easily, it isn't really worth it.
If it comes too easily, it isn't really worth it.
If it comes too easily, it isn't really worth it.

Whatever you want, you may have. It will be granted as you blink,.. and it will come on a sterling silver platter. The classic battle between goals and means begins. What say you my lords and ladies?

I don't have senioritis, I have senior-sadness.

Stepped out of my house today to see the orchids on the sides of the walkway beginning to bloom-- they bloom once a year. It's the last time I shall see them as I power-walk to class.

Saw an old friend that I haven't seen for years on the way to class; one of the first I made when I first came to UCI four years ago as a scared, timid, but quirky character who desperately sought a firm foundation of friendships... I got her email, I don't think circumstances will allow our paths to cross, but I will try. Two weeks till graduation is a longtime and I will definitely be able to make a list of email and contacts as I see many friends at school functions or in the passing, but there is no way I will see 100% of them. That means there will be some people who I can only hope to meet and recognize on the streets of the real world... If you are one of the people Fate has chosen to wall off from my life in the next two weeks, PLEASE AIM ME OR LEAVE A COMMENT ON MY BLOG SO WE CAN KEEP IN TOUCH. I'LL EVEN SEND YOU A POSTCARD FROM EUROPE OF YOU WANT!!!

Flowers that bloom and fade each year I can stand, friendships that decay after a year I cannot power-walk past so nonchalantly.

Interview at UCLA was okay, not great...

I was expecting some middle aged bloated female who was "cute" according to Friend Alice-- instead, I got a recent UCLA grad majored in linguistics dressed in business woman fashion, who was FAWNE!! I got ambushed... ended up stuttering like a dork. Sadness.

On the fone before the interview, she said asked what i was wearing so she could identify me (which i misunderstood thinking: what the?!), and she said was wearing a grey skirt... so here i am checking out all the females in front of Ackerman Hall eyes down looking for a grey skirt... In the end her skirt was more black than grey under the lamplight... At the end of the interview, she took my picture... which was awkward.

Extra info I found out...

--married to an American, she is here to stay.

--EA is basically a for-profit agency-- collects info for 200 private schools and feeds them people. It sounds relatively new, it couldn't be more than 2-3 years old because the first people that went on the program are about to come back. She also mentioned someone found a spouse there? unconfirmed gossip.

--she has two sites in mind at the moment, hence the need for people in march-april.

--the reason why the initial trip is one month is that we are going on travel visas... meaning that we technically can't work, hence volunteering. Interesting loophole, not sure what to think about this part...

--Aaron, her HR consultant, is an econ prof at the University of Pheonix, not sure how she hired him or why he is here in LA... i wouldn't be surprised if he was the husband.


My evaluation was that the interview was a good experience cuz for the first time dressing up and going to interview for reals really got me thinking about the real world. With kindergarden flashbacks of tying my shoelaces, I tried to recall how to tie my tie and finally did so after a good half-hour.

As for going to Japan, the deal would have to be really sweet... thusfar I'm seeing this as some LA grads' attempt at a business venture. I sense she is also smarter and less shy than she makes herself out to be...

How did my life take a downturn so quickly?
I can't even figure out why I feel irritated... it seems like problems have just replicated exponentially like rampant rabbits in Irvine. Well, lying on the couch dreading the 10 page paper due tomorrow at 9am (which I haven't started) for a professor that's Advisor Ellen's husband (she is the Sixth level Lady Wang check, someone I can't let down), I'm taking a break from outlining the paper to outline my problems...


*Relationships... half a dozen friendships that need to be shored up and improved... and soon cuz I'm graduating. Father time has set and started the countdown.

*Not feeling important... when did what I do become taken for granted so often? How can I get people to think together and be more community oriented?

*Uncertain future...
~~EA Japan--
Initial Ideals: I want to see a fragment of Japan for free.
Recent thoughts: Not enough details about what they do. It seems like I'm getting contradictory info. Interview today, didn't feel confident about it, but still got a second interview for this Weds. I set the appointment before I got a ride... and was frantic for half a day. Feeling damn lucky that my mom can take me. Also thanks to Friends Alice and Ems for offering to drive me if need be.

~~law school--
The Loyola rejection is having a bigger impact on my than I first thought. Get freaked out whenever I get mail from any of the other schools. Doubts creeping in because my stats suggested I had a 75-83% chance of getting in... Loyola was a valid option.

The next closest schools are Davis and Hastings, and they are up north. Law school is now equated with going far away. I have some insurance schools in California, but I've decided I don't want to go to them even if I get in... not worth the extraordinary time and money. So the possibility of me coming back from Europe without any law school to go to or any set plans is real.

To top it off, a law student friend of mine looked over my personal statement and the jist of her thinking was:

A l i n a 1381: i wish YOU WOULD'VE LET ME READ [abe's personal statement]!!!
A l i n a 1381: you would've gotten into Loyola
A l i n a 1381: i can almost guarantee it

*Not enough me time... behind in my class readings AND fun readings, didn't even touch today's paper, decided to drop both fencing and ballroom dance, sleep deprived, need to shave (but yes I do shower)... Something in me just has to click so I have the intrinsic drive to get things done-- I need travel mode power.

Lots of good news and bad news splattered on the windshield of my mind recently… For now, I have more good news…

*Friend Alice is giving the Spring Quarter volunteer program to Japan increasingly optimistic reviews… they seem to want people right away, and most students can’t go cuz that’s when they have class (gives me a leg over the competition).

*Finished a book… “A Random Walk Down Wallstreet” which basically said that since stocks were basically unpredictable, investors should buy and hold well-known stocks with some research before buying. I disagree with this book because people like Warren Buffet and Peter Lynch have succeeded consistently in choosing winners… there has to be some method to the madness.

*Started a new book… taking a break from investment books to read “Piloting Palm,” a story about building a business from scratch… when I should be doing my schoolwork. This book is the inside story of palm, handspring, and the birth of the billion dollar handheld industry. I’m about halfway thru and totally engrossed in it… it’s all about doing what the world thought was impossible… I vow to finish by tonight even if I have to pull an all nighter to get my other work done. Gawd I love college…. Any knowledge you want, you can get, if u put in the work.

Attempting to change my day so it looks something like this:

*Sleep 6-8hrs a day.
*Small breakfast of yogurt and fruit.
*Read newspaper/ maybe some studying..
*Eat a huge lunch, then sign online to keep updated
*Study like mad till about 6-7pm.
*Go home and chill
*Some more reading, then sleep.

All the studying/research is my attempt to understand the workings of the real world. I’m studying in two hour blocks because after that my eyes start hurting or my mind shuts down.

I got a rejection letter from Loyola today.

Letter to Dad...

I'm disappointed, but not worried. When it comes to the future I see success in whatever I do. If law isn't a success, I can try something else. Not to say that I'm going to be a bum who just sits on my butt, but I believe if I want something, I
will find a way to work for it.

And for those worried about my future, I would like remind everyone of the story, or I should say legend, of how you and mom came to America with a couple hundred dollars and succeeded beyond imagination as the world was doubtful. I won't let anyone underestimate my prospects for the future because my family has done the impossible before.

SHOUT wins first place in the marti gras float competition

I'll never look at a shopping cart the same way again...

$300 prize, 16 ft tall, 1000 people know who we are now.

The idea behind what was later dubbed the "SHOUT Tower" came from a loophole in the rules which we initially found... there were restrictions about how wide it could be, but no mention of height... So our team used some pc pipe, cardboard, paper machae, and balloons and put in about 17 hours to build.

Because it was so big we couldn't test it before the day of. So while putting frantically putting it togther the hour of, it almost toppled once causing the people around us to gasp and scream, but I grabbed hold of the two pipes, and all 115 pounds of me dragged it back in place with more courage than I thought I had. I was about 5ft above the concrete ground getting the second piece attached... For about 10 seconds I regreted telling everyone that we should have built the float higher... But we got the Pez-looking float (anteater head on boxes spelling "SHOUT @ UCI," rising out of a decorated shopping cart beneath) secured, then lashed it down with strings and tape.

I wish u could have seen the competitions' faces. They had that "what the fuck?!" look... and the judges asked us to do a 360 in it...
everyone would walk and glance at the floats, stop at ours, look up, look down, then move on to the others... think elevator look. By the time the night was through, we had been asked several times by engineering students how we did it.

For SHOUT, we had problems with money. We now have netted $200 profit. We had problems with future leadership. Who wouldn't want to lead SHOUT now? We had issues building bonds among shy people. 17 hours later, we have that cured. We got something done at the end of the day, solved problems creatively, and won the respect of others around us... and for me, personally, I was allowed to work with other smart, team-oriented people.

This is probably the last big event of my official college life, which is drawing to a close two weeks from now upon graduation. Each day seems more and more valuable. I can truely say after tonight that I've brought something to this campus which wasn't here before. On the eve of my graduation, I wish for friends who will continue communicating after college. So far I have had mixed results...

...but my SHOUT family I'm keeping forever.